Good Morning Miss Blog, As I awake this morning and read The Greatest Salesman and The BluePrint Builder I think of Prejudice. I do try to live my life without it; I’m sure I fail at times. I struggle with others around me that are very negative. It seems the world has developed so much cynicism and hatred in/for many people. I truly do not comprehend and of course want to fix the world. In the BluePrint Builder “I will eliminate hatred, envy, jealousy, selfishness and cynicism by developing love for all of humanity”.
Interesting, my color-code is BLUE. It made me giggle as I read my comprehensive Analysis. I am Blue thru and thru. Intimacy for a Blue is about truth, legitimacy, integrity, loyalty, and sincerity. Again, I do not understand why all people do not have these great humanity traits. I have no time for fake people, people who lie, etc. I often thru my life have heard from my mother “Dare to be Great”, “Not everybody is you Kelly”, “Don’t be so self-rightous”. It used to bother me, because I was always trying to do the right thing in a world of wrong. I have come to understand those supposed faults are a good thing. I realized that people who have their own lack will put it on me for trying to be better. I now know it is about them and not me.
My childhood was kinda crazy. My mother and father were only married for 2 years. My father had come back from Vietnam when my mother married him. She had been already widowed at 18 with my brother’s father. So I believe she met my father on the rebound. Supposedly he was a good man before Vietnam, but that is a part I never knew. My mother divorced him with I was around 2 because he used to beat her and tried to kill her a few times. When she served divorce papers, he wired her car with a bomb. He kidnapped me (this my mother never told me, but a girlfriend of my father’s told me about it at his funeral and my mom confirmed) She was a good mom in not ever talking bad about John(father), she tried her best to raise us kids by herself. With all of her struggles I always knew she loved my with her whole heart. John was a drug addict until the day he died at 54 of an oxycontin overdose. My mother while I was growing up obviously had struggles. She pretty much was drunk my entire childhood. When I was 12, I opened my first checking account so I could take her paycheck and put in my account to pay the bills, otherwise she drank it away. So at a very young age I had to be the responsible one. So I developed an adult personality at a very young age. I chose to not be anything like anyone in my family. Therefore, I heard often “don’t be self-rightous”, etc. I do have a good relationship with my mother. She struggles with alcohol still, but not as a drunk per se. It saddens me everyday she could not break the habit as her health has deteriorated at a very young age, but the grips of addiction she chose to never break. She is very compassionate, smart, sweet woman. I love her to the moon and back.
I did find myself thru life very compassionate seeing the struggles of people around me; therefore I try not to judge and just say out-loud “Thank You God for my struggles and not their struggles”.
Enough for today.
As I think about my DMP here are some feelings.
Love with all of your heart and soul. No strings, just purity of heart! No expectations, just freely given. When you love yourself this way, it radiates who you are and overflows to those you meet.
Love this, sadly people pick out what they want to believe out of peoples lives; not knowing the whole story. Whatever we do good or bad we will be judged. Often I am judged for being to happy, to friendly, to kind…. There is a reason I am all of these. I choose everyday to be positive even when I am dying inside. The world has enough negativity. We all have our storms. Lets be grateful for what we have and the world can change and great things happen.
Life is an interesting journey. I remind myself every single day “We are all an experiment of one” I believe that is truth. It also keeps me grounded and nonjudgemental. I am able to sort the individual from the lifestyle. This belief has kept me moving forward and loving all I am in contact with. My mother always taught me “what doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger” a very interesting concept. Funny as I get exhausted…I want to find a way to save people from Themselves. We are our biggest enemies. I pray someday the world finds introspection and love for themselves. I Kelly can only be her best; by action, by learning from her mistakes and change the world one person at a time. I truly thank God for carrying me when I need.
I will never settle for less than a strong foundation! Lessons learned and happy for the thrown bricks and the strength it built in me.