Today, for some reason, I decided to write my new blueprint builder once again. I sat down, took a blank sheet of paper, a fountain pen, and started to write. Then I understood why I had to do it.

As I was writing and reading out loud, I was seeing the words in my mind, putting them on paper, reading them in Mandino’s and Haanel’s… It felt as if I was writing them in me, understanding them for the first time. I remember Davene saying “Link. Link. Link” in week 2 webinar, which had me say “what?!!”  And here I was, linking and weaving concepts and ideas.

For me, this week has been about reflecting around the words “eliminating”, “training”, “service” and “stillness”.

Eliminating : To eliminate fear (or any other negative thought / emotion), I don’t have to find ways to overcome it or reassure me so it doesn’t impact me anymore. I must expel it for ever from my life, using  my mental magic wand to make it disappear in the moment.

Training: To train the mind, I must gain control of my body and mind. I have a hard time building new habits, but I am starting to see that if I would take just a few seconds to stop and think about what to create (based on what I am thinking in the moment) I could have much different results. Just few seconds to get back in command of the ship.

Service: Power is service. Okay. I realise that the “perfect good girl” that I have been trying to be until now was mistaken. I guess the original intention was to give what I wanted to receive, but instead I have lost myself, and forgot to love and respect myself above everything. I haven’t been an expectation-free human being, I haven’t been a pure, ego-less channel of the Universal. It might be why I am still unsatisfied.

Stillness: Stillness equals control for me at that stage. Controlling the body, controlling thoughts, controlling behaviors, controlling energies… Having tried to eliminate control from my life for so many years (when I was suffering from anorexia as a teenager/young adult), it is interesting for me to try to train to control again.

I’ll manage. And I’ll succeed. For I have decided to be the master of my life in this lifetime.
I’ve been scratching the surface of things. With MKMMA, I realise it’s time to ACT. NOW!

With Love & Gratitude,

Sophie

This week faced me with the biggest truth and the biggest question ever.
Truth: Each and every thought I have, every second of my life, has the power to draw or shut the curtain that keeps me away from my purpose.
Question: So what do I REALLY want, so I can direct each and every thought more efficiently?!!

For the past few days, I’ve been going through a kind of physical, emotional, psychological, mental, spiritual SPLIT. All at once.

There was not only the question of defining my life goals. There was also the question of taking responsibility for achieving these goals. Knowing what I want is one thing, but believing, nourishing, and embodying the fire of my burning desire is another one! For the first step is to write a DMP, then it is to imprint it in my universal genes, and finally, it is to accept to live it and actually live it! The Universe supports me and everything I’m sending asking is given to me. But when it’s given, be it pleasant or unpleasant, I need to accept it!! And this I do not, be it pleasant or unpleasant…

Reading my DMP on Monday morning didn’t sound like reading my dream life. Not because they were the wrong dreams, but because they were too beautiful dreams for me! They seemed to be someone else’s dreams. Subby was going, nagging at me: “Come on Soph’… Who do you think you are… You?!! Seriously?!!!”…

I’ve had to battle against “that” for five days (knowing that this “that” is me!!!). My whole body-mind-soul struggled so much that I thought I was crazy or in depression. Add to that migraine, vertigo, extreme fatigue and you have me staying in bed, for two days, just getting up to do my readings. It seems all that mental (in all senses of the word) resistance manifested in my body as well – another proof for me that mind creates reality.

But I survived. And since yesterday I see a bit more clearly, as if standing on my toes and looking over the clouds. I feel the readings are starting to infuse in me. I feel them diffusing their golden wisdom in me. And it feels lovely…

Week 3 marks a (first) threshold for me in MKMMA. I am ready now to work with the conscious mind and the subconscious mind. I am ready to work with all te parts of me to make a better version of me. I am determined to become the master. I am already the master of that crowd. I just need a bit of practice, which I’m having here with you.

Lesson 3 is a medicine for me to read. Point 18 especially : “But the man who knows that he has a Solar Plexus will not fear criticism or anything else; he will be too busy radiating courage, confidence, and power; he will anticipate success by his mental attitude; he will pound barriers to pieces, and leap over the chasm of doubt and hesitation which fear places in his path.“

Yes… “He will be too busy radiating courage, confidence, and power”… From now on, I will make myself busy ONLY with things that support my personal growth as a divine human being.

And I commit to doing my best to empty my mind, be formless, shapeless, and let the magic of Life flow through me. Like water filling space ***

I always keep my promises.

Sophie

“For today I am a new man, with a new life.”

For some reasons, this sentence has been pounding in my head for the past few days. Maybe to try to convince me that I am born anew. When I arise, when I partake of midday meal, when I retire at day’s end. I am born anew then, and any minute, any second in the meantime.

Yet I am clearly resisting given what I experienced this week. Murphy’s law at its highest. But I’m still in the game, willing to play and keep anything negative away from me.

This week, my main questions revolved around the notions of purpose, time and freedom.



Purpose: Shouldn’t it be easy to say what and why I want in / for / of my life? Shouldn’t it be natural to know why I exist?
(cf. DMP brain-crasher)

Time: Why is it so difficult for me to make time for me and everything related to the process of becoming a better version of myself? Why the heck is it so difficult to be part of an existence that is measured in seconds, minutes, days, years…?
(cf. metaphysical linear-not-so-linear maze)

Freedom: “The condition or right of being able or allowed to do, say, think, etc. whatever you want to, without being controlled or limited.” Well, I am free. I’m just not free from (self-doubt and over-thinking).

What I’ve learned is that these deep questions drive my thoughts as much underneath the surface of things (which is very interesting) as in a swamp of mixed emotions (in which I suffocate). Doing the readings and assignments helped me a lot (although I could do much better with my o.a.t.s. and sitting) in recognizing that all thoughts – and emotions – take place within a frame of reference and emerge within a human context. Without these conditions, they don’t exist at all…

Which led me to another question: where does thought emerge in the very first place anyway? Is it God whispering?

…

“I always keep my promises.”

I’ve been reading and pronouncing these words every day, several times per day, and it took me four days to ask myself a very simple question: “Is that true?”

I don’t know… Well, yes, I know. That’s not true. I still happen to break my promises, especially those made to myself: to take care, respect and honour Sophie – the big girl and the little girl, the body and the spirit, the visible and the invisible…

However, as I realised the profoundness and sacredness of promises, I also realised the courage, faith, and sense of responsibility that were required to operate change. Courage as much as humility. For true humility is not only about not appearing to be more than we are; it is also about accepting to be more than we appear to be. We are both the disciple and the Master, the finite and the Infinite.

Today, I feel proud and grateful for having answered the inner call, the inner command that led me here and now, that keeps me going, and that says: “There is something else behind the veil. Open your eyes, and open your heart to it. It’s all there inside waiting for you.”

As Charles Haanel says “Today I begin a new life. And I make a solemn oath to myself that nothing will retard my new life’s growth.”

Sophie