This is the first week of my Hero’s Journey to reclaim my health and increase my vitality, energy, and mobility. I recognized that if I wanted change I would need to take different actions. Synchronicity occurred that shortly after I had applied for the Pay-It-Forward scholarship to the Master Key Master Mind Alliance (MKMMA) that I would injure myself. Since reclaiming my health is the reason I am choosing to participate, straining my back muscles really has brought home to me the need to change my subconscious mind’s thinking so that I do not continue to make poor decisions that impact my health. To add to the challenge of really bad muscles spasms, right when I was having less spasms, I came down with an upper respiratory. The coughing reignited the back challenges and the spasms today even continued after being adjusted by my chiropractor, with intense spasms occurring as I was coming off the table.
I’ve had an opportunity this week to reflect on how my choices have over time impacted my health, attitudes, and life. I looked up the metaphysical meaning for low back pain and I read how it was a manifestation of the unaddressed spiritual and emotional issues that are resulting as physical pain. I’ve been addressing these issues all my life and in many ways I’m a highly functioning adult. I no longer want to use victim mentality as I’ve learned that if I wanted to make healthy changes I first had to take responsibility for my life, even when I was too young to really have had a choice in what happened. I’ve spent my life working to heal and I have the healer archetype, so go figure I’m back here again to learn more, going deeper into myself.
Today another synchronicity occurred when I listened to Gregg Braden talk about Ancient Modes of Prayer. Several comments sparked my thinking. The first was his comment from Einstein that time isn’t linear, it’s happening all simultaneously. The second comment was that there are many different choices we can make and reality as we know it happens when we choose one of those possibilities. We don’t co-create in the manifestation so much as we choose the manifestation from multiple options available. Since everything is happening at the same time, we should be able to go back to different events and make a different choice. That kind of sounds a little Star Trekkie to me, yet on some level I am buying into this. The third comment was Gregg talking about witnessing a prayer for rain with an Indian friend. The Indian said if he prayed for rain he’d never get it because it showed lack. So instead he visualized with the feeling one possibility. That possibility was what it felt like to have the mud seeping through his toes because there had been so much rain that their earth would be oozy with mud. He visualized running through fields with corn growing really high because there had been so much rain that the corn fields were giving a banner crop. He went to a feeling that he already knew how it felt and looked.
Metaphorically I am looking for the feeling of being safe in my body. I do not remember a time without pain, physically or emotionally. However I know that the Universe knows how that looks and feels. I am marinating my thoughts to that theme so that I can have the mental equivalent of feeling safe to change my thinking where i can metaphorically feel the mud seeping through my toes allowing me to choose a different option on my health issues.
So my journey has begun. My goal is to develop healthy habits to replace the unhealthy habits that I desire changed. In many ways I am known for keeping my promises with others. However I want, need, and desire to keep my promises with myself too. My promise to regain and reclaim my health is the reason I am on this journey. Part of keeping my promise includes doing the things I have not done yet knew I needed to do. I will find ways to increase my core strength and to rebuild muscle strength. I will find ways to make healthier choices that give me a slight edge, knowing when consistently done they will give me a payoff in reclamation of my health.