Please click here for my Week7 post:
Wow! What a journey thus far! Week 6 finds me feeling rather grumpy, behind schedule and recognizing the all-too-familiar. I am heavily challenged this week and my frustration plants me dead-center on the battleground for my inner self. It seems I am taking some fire from my old blueprint.
Formerly this site was no battle ground at all. It was merely a mental field; quiet, sublime and neutral. I always landed in it once I grew tired of the effort and fearful of defeat along whatever path I had been on. From here I have always advanced down the old warn, well-trodden path of “same old mediocrity, different day,” my fear of another failure always seemingly met. As Haanel has expressed, we form a habit of failure if we do not complete what we set out to do.
All my life I have begun many processes of varying subjects, with a subconscious assumption of failure as the probable outcome. I recognize this largely results from ancestral aspects of my old blueprint coupled with lifelong habits that supported them. While one side of my ancestry seemed to maintain expectations and acceptance of mediocrity to descend through the generations, the other esteemed hollow symbols of success which I refused to embrace. Failure seemingly resulted as my habit, my functional belief before I even began anything!
So that formerly tranquil field of mediocrity is now drawing fire, and it’s ok! Anything worth possessing is surely worth fighting for! This MKE journey makes it quite a simple task. Follow through; conduct the activities when directed, Do it mindfully! But it is not always easy! Stay true and honest with oneself; guard the thoughts so the conscious mind remains a worthy gatekeeper of the subconscious; get uncomfortable and do it anyway!
That fine estate is mine and I possess and cherish it! There is nothing greater.
No neglect, excuses, servitude, apathy, unbelief, laziness or melancholy; and definitely no ragged old recycled hand-me-down blueprint is going to keep me from it!
This amazing journey we know as the Master Key Experience has just reached another level! The law of giving is dynamic; it’s kinetic; and it’s immediate! And my wallet is getting tough to close. Just as Haanel states in 4-21, “The more we give, the more we shall get; we must become a channel whereby the Universal can express activity”.
As an introvert this fervent focus on giving and being a grateful receiver is new for me and yet the dividends seem as if they were just waiting for me to openly act. In the last week, I have:
- Sold three high-dollar items I am no longer using- with EASE;
- Received special orders to be made for holiday gifting;
- Acquired two new members in my business organization- with EASE
As we work to refine our Definite Major Purpose statements, one of my needs is autonomy. Until last year I managed a high-end Italian restaurant, which I enjoyed for a number of years. Within that last year, however, the stressors of the job began to outweigh the dividends and as a highly respected business acquaintance of mine is famous for saying, “If you’re not having fun, you’re done!” As “fun” was becoming a distant memory I elected to leave the industry in 2016; putting the detractors, along with the dividends, in my rearview mirror.
Since that time I have not looked back with any regrets, but the one pothole in my journey needing a good solid patch has been the obvious discontinuation of income. My sweetheart is perfectly happy with me piloting my own life, working or not working as I choose. But I need challenge, drive, passionate purpose! Until recently I’ve been trying to fulfill the external with the external, failing to make use of that subconscious power and living within very narrow limits (Haanel 5-1). No more!
As I hear it, there is a fine estate awaiting a claimant (5-14). I earnestly desire it. I assert my claim. And I take possession. And I’m headed to the bank! My wallet is full.
”…I am prepared for wisdom and principles which will guide me out of the shadows into the sunlight of wealth, position and happiness far beyond my most extravagant dreams until even the golden apples of the Garden of Hesperides will seem no more than my just reward”. -Greatest Salesman
I decided to delve into that garden to enhance the mental image accompanying Mandino’s message as I read it. With the beautiful imagery comes the story that absolutely aligns the Garden of Hesperides with the garden that is my world within.
The mythological Garden of Hesperides is Hera’s orchard in the west, from which golden apples grant immortality when eaten. The hesperides were nymphs tasked with tending the garden and were found to take of the apples for themselves. Hera placed a never-sleeping, hundred-headed dragon in the garden to further safeguard it.
The Titan’s Curse by Rick Riordan provides great descriptive imagery to the garden. The garden is described as the most beautiful place ever seen. The grass shimmers with early evening light, the flowers so brilliant with colors they nearly glow by night. There are stepping stones of polished black marble encircling a large tree with every branch glittering with the golden apples of immortality.
As I ponder this, why shouldn’t my world within be this garden? I create the within, do I not? I should find within it the most brilliant colors, the richest textures, the warmest light emanating from there! Additionally, I do need my hundred-headed dragon, my conscious mindfulness, to safeguard it. For if it’s left open to intrusions, perhaps the old thoughts, the old blueprint, external opinions or influences of others, then my garden will be the same old dusty patch of infertile soil I have known. As I renovate my inner garden there’s no doubt the golden apples of a new abundance I’ve never experienced will be MY just reward! When this fruit comes to full harvest, then I am immortal in legacy, in the fulfillment of all that I’m purposed with here on this earth!
It was only a week before the beginning of MKMMA, and I was marveling at three distinct occasions that this Robert Frost poem appeared in my interactions. I have not come across this poem in nearly 30 years, so the sudden exposure to it grabbed my attention.
I have been known to mostly travel those roads, grassy and wanting wear. It has not always been the easiest road to choose, especially when there were external influences applying pressure to enter the well-traveled road. As I ponder this from the road I stand on now, however, I can’t help but find myself at a newfound set of two roads.
The operations of the mind are produced by two parallel modes of activity, the one conscious and the other subconscious.” -Haanel 2-1
As I picture the two roads now, they are the conscious and the subconscious. I have been leading my life nearly exclusively with the conscious mind, creating a map of decision for myself looking more reminiscent of this.
All of my decisions have been based on analytical bets: What is the most strategic path for my best life? What will make me independent? What will make the significant people in my life happy? What is best for myself and my child? What will make me have success? The trouble with this gambling rests with the repeated attempts to make the most of the external… with the external:
I always ignored passions and seemingly unrealistic interests and considered them as hobbies, things to enjoy in the spare time I might gain someday after I have “made it” and I can afford to do something lacking worth.
What backwards thinking! What a way to watch a life drift by, only to reminisce with regret at the end! As a consequence, I never “made it” but I have learned so much on my journey. All of those steps on the paths I’ve followed, graciously led me to the Master Key so that from this point forward I know what to do!
“The solar plexus has been likened to the sun of the body… and is thrown off in an atmosphere which envelopes the body. If this radiation is sufficiently strong enough the person is called magnetic… and may wield an immense power for good.” -Haanel 3-5,6
YES!!! I’ll follow the sun! And I will allow the experience and guardianship of my conscious mind to serve in its proper parameters. It is liberating to know that, “this center of energy is omnipotent because it is the point of contact with all life and all intelligence,” (3-11). I only need to direct it to accomplish what I desire! Goodbye control-freak tendencies trying to figure out all the steps!
“The value of the subconscious is enormous; it inspires us…” -Haanel Part 2:7
Once I learned of the Master Key Experience, I have yearned for the program with great expectations. Far be it from my CONSCIOUS assessment throughout that time, that by the second week I would already be reaping the benefits and realizing dynamic changes in the way I respond to the world without! In these mere two weeks, I have:
- had amazing conversations with my daughter;
- realized increased levels of motivation to get things done;
- DONE things I typically have waited for help to do, knowing previously I would lose patience too quickly or have fear of not completing PERFECTLY (perfection paralysis, anyone?);
- become more creative with meal preparation;
- found amazing patience with things I’ve been known to have a short fuse for;
- begun learning to FEEL, without fear of allowing myself to really FEEL.
This is but a condensed list and barely at the midpoint of the second week! If this was all I reaped from MKE, it would be an enormous change! Yet I have 24 weeks to go, let alone the rest of a life with which to practice all I learn. WOW!
In the past few years, I learned much about my true state of being; that I truly lacked self-love, confidence or a healthy inner world. I learned that all those things I thought I possessed were only anchored to my achievements in physical fitness. I was relying on the cement for my strength as I now know it to be. Once that was all ripped from me, by way of my body beginning to fail to respond to my efforts, all the feelings I had for myself before returned, without hesitation and with a vengeance.
Nothing made sense. I eliminated possible irritants from my diet and I gained weight. I worked out more and I gained weight. I worked out less and I gained weight. The only absolute ever resulting was, ~say it with me~, I GAINED WEIGHT! This is all very current in my cement. I weigh more now than I have in fifteen years, never mind that I have militantly worked and monitored my diet closely. Heck, I even just ran a 5K, the first in a long time, and placed 6th in my age bracket. Believe me when I say there have been lots of tears throughout this time of trying to sort it all out, gaining weight all the way.
Thankfully my mind is changing and I know with all that I am, that the healing of my inner world will chisel all that needless cement away; first in my thought world, but quickly in my physical world as well. With the help of these truths with which we are saturating our world within, I don’t “hope this will help me reverse these physical issues”; I WILL reverse these issues and, clearly, that will be but one benefit amongst many, MYRIAD and life-changing benefits of this journey! Onward and outward!
It is pleasing to begin the disciplines that have proven to change the lives, outlooks and OUTPUTS of so many before me. Today I choose to shed my old skin, my blueprint, which has suffered the bruises of failure and wounds of mediocrity for way too long. It is amazing to find oneself automatically acting in the same way and worse, with the same lifelong internal messages, hoping for a new and different outcome, this time. Perhaps using the brain to do the work of the mind is the fault.
For far too long I’ve devoured the grape skins and pulp, hoping for fine wine results. I have been picking at the scraps while missing the life-giving source within, missing it due to the clogged filter of mediocrity that was all I once knew. No more! No longer will I accept mediocrity, nor will I leave outcomes to chance and wishes. Now I know a better blueprint must be crafted, and I will carefully sculpt it with surgical precision until it leaves no space for the messages and design of old to creep back in. That format has been in place far too long to allow it any crevice to sneak back through once the New Blueprint is complete.
This is my intention. This is my promise. And I always keep my promises!