When I first heard Mark use the phrase “classroom shock” I did what my old blueprint always does and said to myself, “I’ll be fine…”
You see, I had signed up for 3 new courses at the same time I signed up for MKMMA. I believe all 4 courses are a must for furthering myself to the entrepreneur and person I want to be but I realized that I had not realized I had committed to so much. I have not had such a ‘course load’ since high school and just 1 other time in my work life. So, MKMMA is a classroom shock in itself let alone the other 3 courses on top.
But more than that I began thinking why do I do this, what happens when I have done this in the past and WHY does it seem always the same result? I’ve been struggling for “find my fit”. I’ve tried a few (OK more than a few if you go all the way back) entrepreneurial / independent contractor type gigs and yet none of them have I made myself successful at before moving on.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m very proud of my life in general. I came from a lower middle class family. Mom & Dad divorced when I was 9 yrs old. I became a teen mom, then a single mom with a rash of poor quality relationships but I was blessed to land a “good job” when I was 23 yrs old. With that job I learned how to better my self and transfer each new skill set climbing the corporate ladder to be able to live in nice homes, drive reliable cars and raise my son fairly comfortably. I now have a wonderful husband, we live in a beautiful home that everyone loves, our blended family includes 3 sons, 2 daughters-in-law and 1 granddaughter. And many very good friends.
So, why, am I still struggling to make a home based business successful if I’ve been able to show up, make money, move up in my career, create amazing relationships?
Could it be that my old blueprint is running tapes as far back as Mom & Dad’s divorce, my own failure in high school, choosing the wrong partners for so many years? At about year 3 of my current marriage things were not feeling so wonderful and my mom happen to mention, “this is about the time when all the other relationships broke up too, huh?” WOW! Was that a kick in the teeth.
I am afraid of close personal success? I don’t know for sure but I think it’s about darn time I create a new blueprint. It may be harder than I realized. I will stumble and so I will keep my promises. All of them. Even to myself.