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MKE Week 21 – Comfort zone

I love the idea of using the 5 tools to expand my comfort zone : fear, unworthiness, guilt, hurt feelings and anger.

Once again, the mere idea that I will turn negative emotions into something positive feels good in itself! I say « again » because it is similar to Og Mandino´s teaching that problems are opportunities in disguise, also present in Haenel’s teachings.

How do you turn those 5 negative emotions into something that expands your comfort zone? I don’t know, really. But the way I practice it actually works! I do the following:

- first, when I manage to be enough of an observer, I can see that I am experiencing one of these 5 emotions; let us say fear for example, fear of attending a challenging meeting unprepared.

- second, I think to myself: « hey, this is fear, one of the five tools! Therefore an opportunity to expand my comfort zone, good!! »

- third, I use the law of substitution, to attach another feeling to the idea of attending that meeting. And I kind of decide that I feel excited to attend that meeting because I will expand my comfort zone, and to also think that this meeting will be interesting, so that I add some extra excitement.

And this actually works! I must admit that I haven’t had really challenging situations lately. It was therefore easier to apply this recipe. But still it worked! I added a bit of the posture exercise « i fake it until I become it », which was quite helpful also.

My conclusion: once again, thank you to Mark and the divine team! What an amazing cocktail of life changing tools! Expanding your comfort zone means that you will feel comfortable in an increasing number of situations. How awesome is that…?!

 

MKE Week 19 – Mindfulness

Here and now, is a recurrent theme in Og Mandino’s scrolls. And I think this is key to freedom and happiness, awareness and mindfulness.

Freedom, from yesterday and from tomorrow. From what others may or may not think, from what I may or may not do. “I concentrate my energy on the challenge of the moment and my actions help me forget all else”.

Happiness, as I then have the possibility to enjoy the moment without thinking that I would rather be sometime somewhere else.

Relations are easier, as my true presence enables me to better see how the others are feeling. I am then able to truly respond rather than to react. Respond to their needs or to what the situation requires.

Success is around the corner, this one or the other, as my interest in the action of the moment enables my concentration to increase (Haenel), thus providing me with knowledge. Better and deeper knowledge, of my work, of any matter, of others and of myself. “I increase my knowledge of mankind, myself and the goods I sell, thus my sales multiply.”

Most important is the awareness of myself, that I increase through the sit, through relaxation, through listening to my world within. That is through the meditation.

Yes, here and now, truly applied, may lead to being conscious of what is happening, when it is happening. This is the definition of mindfulness.

Maïlys

MKE Week 18 – Hold on to happiness

Since a few days, I find it difficult to do all my MKE exercises every day.

What mainly keeps me from doing it all, is that I have launched so many projects at the same time, trying to strain my potential until it cries for mercy, that it is actually my – limited – 24 hours a day that cry for mercy.

The good thing is that I still feel amazingly happy and powerful. The less good thing is that I am stressing out a bit (only a bit though) due to the promises I made to others and to myself.  Concretely, I am referring to these promises to do my job up to my standards, to do my MKE exercises, to do sport, to dramatically upgrade my digital skills, to create a mindfulness franchise in Brussels, to learn Spanish, to renovate my house and above all to take very good care of my family and my friends. All this with deadlines. Hum….

However, I can see that all my projects are actually making relatively good progress. And my family seems relaxed and happy, which is a real joy to me. I am also having a much much (much!) more relaxed life than before, if I think of it for a minute.

Yesterday, a colleague and friend from work asked me something like: « what is going on with you Mailys, you are so full of energy, each time that I see you, and even in your mails and messages… ?? » Gosh, i just loved hearing that, especially from my friend, and I keep this warmly in my heart… to keep me going and to hold on…

 

 

MKE Week 17 HJ – The frenzy begins… watch out!

Ooooooh! It feels like I’m going through a new acceleration phase! It seems like the teachings of these last three weeks are just launching me into life like a rocket!

Well, of course!!! What did you expect?! Precisely these teachings, the use of these words and concepts directly appeal to what I’m personally craving for!! Mandino calling to our potential, Haenel making our limits vanish thanks to this cocktail of desire and concentration, the hero’s journey, the call for each one of us to express her/his uniqueness and through this, to fulfill her/his purpose in life, helping others, being the influencer s/he naturally is! This appeals to me!

It feels like I am in kind of a frenzy state. I am busy 24/7 progressing on my goals. Yes, 24/7 because one of my goals is to sleep 7 hours per night.. Progressing on nearly all my goals at once! And I have many. Many! Too many? Probably. Actually, certainly! But, does my potential cry for mercy? NO, not yet. Or perhaps I don’t hear it… actually, I feel at times mentally exhausted. But I keep going. I have registered to trainings at work on all aspects of digital skills, on top of the training to start learning Spanish, with a view to the job that I will start in July and for which I also need to learn the subject matter. All this on top of my current job, my family, the MKE and – mainly – the big project that I’m developing outside work!

What about you? did you also start so many projects at once? How do you feel? Or are you more reasonable, realistic, which could lead to perseverence and more efficiency in the long term? What is your experience now?

Watch out, Maïlys! You know all too well the risks that come with this euphoric and frenzy state! Because in me, desire to accomplish is so huge sometimes, that only my body can stop me, or worse, my mental stops me as it just stops functioning for a while, until I get back on my feet again. But perhaps my mindfulness practice will help me seeing the red lights before it is too late.

Oops, i think I suddenly see a small red light flashing… ok, i will slow down….. a tiny little bit for now… ; – p

MKE Week 17 – I CAN SEE

« Where is my magnifying glass??

- There, in your concentration.

- What? Sorry, but where is this?

- There, in your relaxation.

- Pfew, thank you! I could not see where I was going. Cause actually, I couldn’t see where I was. Alright, I’m gonna sit then, see myself from within, and therefore « be », which will allow me to know where I’m going and to see how I’m getting there.

- Excellent! You‘re making good progress! But tell me: how will you see how to get there?

- Well, by being the Observer, I suppose!

- Indeed. And you may only be the Observer if you relax. »

 

You’ve just read a summary of what went on in my brain when reading Haenel lesson 17. This is such an empowering feeling! With the MKE, it is as if I started to see more clearly than I could see before… putting all the bits and pieces together, seeing the greater picture but at the same time identifying more precisely and more easily what was in for me in this great (great!) picture.

When I am relaxed, I just am. And as I have defined my purpose (more or less, I’m getting there, as my DMP progresses), I can see!

I can see what was already visible,  although I was not always able to identify it before. That is, I can see the resources available to realise my purpose. If in a meadow full of varied flowers, only a variety of these flowers is helpful to me, it is as if these flowers were now appearing before my eyes! I don’t have to look for them anymore. On top of that, new such flowers are brought to me from another meadow,  because I have asserted my needs and people bring me these resources (possibly I get what I gave them at some point, or there are just being kind).

I can see what is NOT visible. That is, with my brain, I can for example understand why challenges and problems occur, so that I tackle them at their root, and these obstacles do not to occur again (see my previous post).

With these resources and these victories, I can see my power. And this boosts my self-confidence!

As a virtuous circle, self-confidence helps me relax… so that I can better concentrate…and better see.

Mailys

 

 

Week 16 – Og’s Recipe

A recipe to succeed in my work.

In the last two years, I experienced a few difficulties at work. I observed that the persons who were getting the highest positions or who were considered the brightest ones, often happened to be the most arrogant ones. I then got to think that the system I was in was rewarding only those types of people, which would probably lead me to failure, as I would neither be willing nor able to follow this path.

But with the MKE, I started thinking that I was entitled to behave in accordance with my personality, shamelessly and assertively. I starting believing that I did not have to become arrogant to have my work appreciated. And the effects were positive.

Now, with Scroll IV in “The Greatest Salesman in the World”, I believe even more that, not only I am entitled to by myself at work, but also, that this precisely can lead me to success.

Og Mandino provides us with the recipe for this:

  • Ingredient 1: my uniqueness has value. I am aware of it and I will use it and show it

I will place my uniqueness on display in the market place. I will proclaim it, yea, I will sell it.

  • Ingredient 2: I increase my knowledge of my business (expertise, linked to competence), and I increase my knowledge of mankind (useful to understand others and interact with them) and of myself (useful to progress)

I will increase my knowledge of mankind, myself and the goods I sell

  • Ingredients 3 and 4: I pay attention to the words I use and I improve them, and I improve my manners and graces

I will practice, and improve, and polish the words I utter to sell my goods

also will I seek constantly to improve my manners and graces.

These last two ingredients are tools to get my peculiarities accepted, and even admired or at least valued. Words and graces present my peculiarities and my uniqueness with their good angle. Also, paying attention to the words I say regarding myself (inner talk) are crucial for my self-confidence and in turn for the way people see me.

What a relief, to find out that I am allowed to be myself and still succeed! And so far, it seems to work…

 

MKE week 15 – Hey, potential, cry for mercy!

This MKE week is amazingly rich, this impresses me much!

I particularly love the  idea that our potential is unlimited, yet not fully used. This energises me and gives me confidence that I can start many of the activities I desire at once, rather than waiting to create the time for each one of them. Realistic? … Euh.. i don’t know. I’ll tell you once I have experimented this…

Here are but a few of this week’s ideas on the unlimited potential:

First, Og Mandino, with this funny metaphor of our potential crying for mercy! “I have unlimited potential. Only a small portion of my brain do I employ; only a paltry proportion of my muscles do I flex. A hundredfold or more can I increase my accomplishments of yesterday.

I will strain my potential until it cries for mercy.“

Then, Haanel, whiches pushes us to make use of the latent knowledge that we hold: “knowledge does not apply itself. … our actions are not governed by knowledge, but by custom, precedent and habit. … knowledge unused passes from the mind, … the value of the information is in the application of the principle.”

Another of Haanel’s teachings is huge as it gives us tools to develop our potential: the idea that we should use obstacles or problems as challenges from which to draw a lesson (wisdom) which, if applied, will make us grow, thus preventing the same kind of problem to arise again:

All conditions and experiences that come to us do so for our benefit. Difficulties and obstacles will continue to come until we absorb their wisdom and gather from them the essentials of further growth.

Og Mandino says it as well and encourages us to see through problems in this way: “I have been given eyes to see and a mind to think and now I know a great secret of life for I perceive, at last, that all my problems, discouragements and heartaches are, in truth, great opportunities in disguise”. This idea was actually already clear in scroll 2.

So much more is in this week 15, and I might as well get back to it in one of my next posts. But on the unlimited potential, I would like to thank again the MKE team for having developed this great idea of the makeover with 13 weeks to focus on successive virtues. A great process I am eager to go through…

Week 14 MKE – Power cut

Mastering my life, deciding on its direction, goes through concentrating all my power on what I want, and using power cuts whenever I am able to see that my thoughts drift where I do not want them to go.

I am so grateful to know about the law of growth!  I consciously use it as much as I can. I regularly manage to let some bad thoughts atrophy, especially using the metaphor of the bear holding the kettle… a very good trick to apply the mental diet! I love the idea of the process of denial in Haanel‘s lesson 14: the idea that I am depriving bad circumstances from any power.

if you deny unsatisfactory conditions, you are withdrawing the creative power of your thought from these conditions. You are cutting them away at the root. You are sapping their vitality.

I thus sometimes manage to do the opposite of my previous habit, i.e. of what Haanel describes most people do:

Most persons concentrate intently upon unsatisfactory conditions, thereby giving the condition that measure of energy and vitality which is necessary in order to supply a vigorous growth.

But then I have this question about the following quote from George Mathew Adams:

Learn to keep the door shut, keep out of your mind and out of your world, every element that seeks admittance with no definite helpful end in view.

To what extent should I be disciplined in the activities of my life? Example: should I avoid watching films that I love, but that might instill negative feelings in my mind, such as frustration or anger? Unless I misunderstood, Mark J said that he does not do anything else than what he put in his OATS. What a discipline of life! Or there is something I misunderstand here. Any reply, comment or explanation is welcome…

Week 13 – the journey

 

Ooooooh! I have the feeling that this poem from Mary Oliver fits so well with the journey that we have embarked on with the MKE, the new life that we have started with our new self.

« THE JOURNEY

One day you finally knew what you had to do, and began, though the voices around you kept shouting their bad advice – though the whole house began to tremble and you felt the old tug at your ankles. “Mend my life!” each voice cried. But you didn’t stop. You knew what you had to do, though the wind pried with its stiff fingers at the very foundations, though their melancholy was terrible.
It was already late enough, and a wild night, and the road full of fallen branches and stones. But little by little, as you left their voices behind, the stars began to burn through the sheets of clouds, and there was a new voice which you slowly recognized as your own, that kept you company as you strode deeper and deeper into the world, determined to do the only thing you could do – determined to save the only life you could save. »

Mary Oliver

To be honest, I am still unsure about my ultimate dream in life – the one I stated in my DMP, my earnest desire, my truest interest. Yet, I have the feeling that I know what I have to do. I have to continue the process, to continue this journey. The process, as guided by the MKE, is excellent in itself.  Together with meditation, it enables wisdom to grow in me. I progressively find out what I do not want (cement is progressively falling off). And I keep exploring solutions, opening up possibilities, to check if my stated dream is really my earnest desire or truest interest, or otherwise to find out what this would be.

Increase in me that wisdom Which discovers my truest interest, Strengthen my resolution To perform that which wisdom dictates.
Franklin