Monthly Archives: November 2017

MKE Week 9 – I love my enemies

 

As in my previous post, I will today start with one of the precious advice handed down to us by Og Mandino:

“I will laud mine enemies and they will become friends;”

When I was a teenager, I heard about loving enemies. And I rejected this strongly, as I believed that this was a sign of weakness and that if you were thinking like this, you would be and remain a victim of these enemies.

I can see now how far I might have been from the truth. I did the experience those last weeks at  work. [Here, I want to put a caveat, as I have not tried this with people who made me really suffer in life. This might be for another post on the law of forgiveness]. But this week at work, I loved and lauded mine “enemies”, or rather than enemies, colleagues who triggered bad emotions in me… What a relief! Instead of feeling embittered when in contact with these persons, I was feeling warmer, and this even triggered another behaviour from them. Remember?

“In silence and to myself I will address him [/her] and say I Love you [...] and his[/her] heart will be opened.”

(Og Mandino)

So much easier for me to handle!

The other day, I was following a training on interpersonal relations (yes, I’m passionate about these subjects!). There, I understood that the very persons who trigger repulsion in you, are the persons who correspond to your personal challenges, in terms of character or attitude. And these persons are precisely the ones from whom you may learn the most!

First, you may acquire a better understanding of yourself, by asking yourself why they trigger you. Talking about “personality types”, Carl Jung tells us:

“Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to a better understanding of ourselves.”

And second, you might perhaps get lessons learned from them. For example, if you tend to have a low self-esteem, and if you are triggered by an arrogant person, well perhaps you can learn from his/her assertiveness.

This leads us back to Og Mandino:

“I will love the ambitious for they can inspire me; I will love the failures for they can teach me.”

Conclusion: if you love and laud your enemies, then you open and relax, and you become able to perceive the lessons learned that you need. These lessons are resources that come to you and that will help you progress towards the person you will to be. On top of that, you get the benefit of instantly feeling warmer in this relation. In fact, far from being a weak victim as I initially thought, you actually become a powerful victor.

“I will greet this day with love, and I will succeed.”

(Og Mandino)

Maïlys

MKE Week 8 – The Guest house

 

Og Mandino tells us:

“I will welcome happiness for it enlarges my heart; yet I will endure sadness for it opens my soul.”

How do you actually do that? I would like to share with you this poem by Rumi, which in a way is a comfort to me when I am challenged by sadness or another feeling or emotion uneasy to handle.

THE GUEST HOUSE

This being human is a guesthouse.

Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness,

some momentary awareness comes

as an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all!

Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows,

who violently sweep your house

empty of its furniture,

still, treat each guest honourably.

He may be clearing you out

for some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice,

meet them at the door laughing,

and invite them in.

Be grateful for whoever comes,

because each has been sent

as a guide from beyond.

Rumi

Of course, if you welcome one of these uneasy guests (difficult feelings) together with negative thoughts and if you hold these thoughts, it might well be that you have to restart your mental diet! ;-)   But immediately pushing the feeling away might not be very helpful, as he will be tempted to stay instead. Worse, if you do not greet him at the door, you might even not be able to see him entering the guest house, and how do you take him out then?  However, if one of these challenging feelings unexpectedly enters your guest house, and if you are able to see him coming and to welcome him, then you will be in a position to let him go, perhaps even more quickly that you would have thought!

Does that mean that you should keep the door shut to negative thoughts but open to all feelings? My answer would be the following: 1. keep the door shut to negative thoughts, 2. attach positive feelings to any thoughts, 3. if a negative feeling still comes at the door, greet it, welcome it and let it go.

Maïlys

MKE Week 6 – Just Happiness?

Yes, this was my mood of the week… peaceful, positive and happy… So nice, isn’t it? Surely it was no coincidence that I was having two days bank holidays and a few quiet other days at work… but still! I was feeling less of a need to judge or criticise. It felt good…until today.

Today, with only a bit of a challenge at work, the same old negative thoughts resurrected… I tried to be positive… argh! I only but found a way out by being cynical! I mean, very cynical.

The good point is: I was actually aware of my bad mood. The other good point: I definitely tried to drop my negative thoughts, avoid or circumvent them. Ok, it didn’t really work, but hum… I tried!

Altogether I have the feeling that the “no opinion, no cynicism, no hate, etc” is gradually but surely working on me. Although I definitely do not manage to abide by these promises all the time, I do it more and more regularly and things seem to be shifting in my brain. I am happier and I hope that this is not just a temporary euphoria created by the great MKE experience… Uh oh…Is this my old blueprint talking now? Or is this “me being realistic”?? Better for me to quickly choose my answer: Let this happiness rather be the beginning of a new life, on a nice journey towards my dream project.