As in my previous post, I will today start with one of the precious advice handed down to us by Og Mandino:
“I will laud mine enemies and they will become friends;”
When I was a teenager, I heard about loving enemies. And I rejected this strongly, as I believed that this was a sign of weakness and that if you were thinking like this, you would be and remain a victim of these enemies.
I can see now how far I might have been from the truth. I did the experience those last weeks at work. [Here, I want to put a caveat, as I have not tried this with people who made me really suffer in life. This might be for another post on the law of forgiveness]. But this week at work, I loved and lauded mine “enemies”, or rather than enemies, colleagues who triggered bad emotions in me… What a relief! Instead of feeling embittered when in contact with these persons, I was feeling warmer, and this even triggered another behaviour from them. Remember?
“In silence and to myself I will address him [/her] and say I Love you [...] and his[/her] heart will be opened.”
So much easier for me to handle!
The other day, I was following a training on interpersonal relations (yes, I’m passionate about these subjects!). There, I understood that the very persons who trigger repulsion in you, are the persons who correspond to your personal challenges, in terms of character or attitude. And these persons are precisely the ones from whom you may learn the most!
First, you may acquire a better understanding of yourself, by asking yourself why they trigger you. Talking about “personality types”, Carl Jung tells us:
“Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to a better understanding of ourselves.”
And second, you might perhaps get lessons learned from them. For example, if you tend to have a low self-esteem, and if you are triggered by an arrogant person, well perhaps you can learn from his/her assertiveness.
This leads us back to Og Mandino:
“I will love the ambitious for they can inspire me; I will love the failures for they can teach me.”
Conclusion: if you love and laud your enemies, then you open and relax, and you become able to perceive the lessons learned that you need. These lessons are resources that come to you and that will help you progress towards the person you will to be. On top of that, you get the benefit of instantly feeling warmer in this relation. In fact, far from being a weak victim as I initially thought, you actually become a powerful victor.
“I will greet this day with love, and I will succeed.”