Being an observer of life, I’m sure you have noticed that people who are moody tend to stay moody and people who are bubbly tend to stay bubbly. The Laws of the Mind back these observations up and this lady right here assumed kindness week would be a shoo-in because kindness naturally occurs from me and towards me.
Imagine my surprise when I couldn’t seem to get my s#*t together! Now I’m not saying that I was grumpy for no reason. What I’m talking about is the s#*tstorm that was funneling around me, debris still managing to strike me with every shelter I put up until finally my defenses seemed exhausted and the mood…oh the mood mood MOOD that followed!
Quite honestly, I was forcing everything. I was forcing kindness when I just wanted to crawl in a hole. I was forcing smiles when I just wanted to cry. I was forcing work when I wanted to rest. I was forcing family time when I needed alone time. And then it happened last night, I finally broke. Mentally fatigued with emotions that had been held in for several weeks, I lost my cool and flipped out. And then I cried…like a baby…for 30 minutes. Let me tell you that crying, as an adult, for thirty minutes is E-X-H-A-U-S-T-I-N-G!
This morning I woke up with eyelids that resembled half-melted marshmallows and gave myself a pep talk in the mirror. I thought about this quote:
Kindness is just love with its work boots on.
I guess the realization that hit me was it’s OK to change my shoes when I need to. There’s no real point in picking up horse manure in high heels. Even if I can, it doesn’t mean I should. In other words, I know it’s kindness week and I know the assignments, but forcing myself to go above and beyond in the middle of a s#*tstorm just wasn’t necessary. Love is all around me every day and I show kindness daily in my volunteering and RAOK already. I think the best kindness I can do is take care of myself when the weather changes so I’m 100%. I was too focused on trying to change the outside (per our assignment) instead of keeping the energy inside calm And letting it flow naturally.
Also, I’m restarting the Mental Diet today. I think a lot of the frustration that I experienced from other people’s drama last week could have been avoided if I would have been following the Mental Diet.