This week I have both embraced and resisted the exercises, yet I remain incredibly excited about the ramifications of truly directing the subconscious with my conscious mind. Is it really possible to do this? If so, shouldn’t we be shouting this from every corner? If so, why DO we have to work so hard to uncover this? I’m perplexed that it should be like this, but won’t spend much energy worrying about it now as I’m sure the best place to start is with me and my own transformation. Put on my own oxygen mask first…
I feel so thankful to have found this course where there are people to HELP me figure out my DMP (Definite Major Purpose). Like many others, I wonder if the things I’ve been telling myself I want, FOR YEARS NOW, in some cases, are truly my heart’s desire, or instead aspirations my conditioning has conjured. When my helpful Guide Brenda gently questions some of my statements asking ‘why’ I want these things, I pause. Why, indeed? Why have I felt ‘in my element’ or ‘tapped into’ certain situations, so that I want more of it or want it on a greater scale? How do I verbalize something that just ‘feels right’? Is is right or a trick of the ‘mind/s’?
As I read Lesson 3 today, one passage of Haanel’s stood out: ’14. Non-resistant thought expands the Solar Plexus: resistant thought contracts it. Pleasant thought expands it; unpleasant thought contracts it. Thoughts of courage, power, confidence and hope all produce a corresponding state, but the one archenemy of the Solar Plexus which must be absolutely destroyed before there is any possibility of letting any light shine is FEAR. This enemy must be completely destroyed; he must be eliminated; he must be expelled forever; he is the cloud which hides the sun, which causes a perpetual gloom.’
As I reflect on what is blocking me from getting what I want, I dig deeper into the issues and am starting to see the fear that is beneath each one. Fear that the price of success will not be all I hoped for. Fear that I will not enjoy the successful reality that I created. Fear that circumstances and relationships will be different…lesser somehow?
Even as I wrote the last few sentences, I could feel the fears shrinking. Identifying and shining a light on them is already helping my clarity. The empowering thing is truly in looking at the same situations from a different angle. Many insights as I ponder the stories and fears that I’ve carried with me to this point. Time to reshape and re-purpose them…like clay. Peace.