I am writing my post for week 7 just after the webbinar of week 8. So late and yet I am so happy for the new exciting discovery. Yeeeyyyyy, I got another tiny little piece of my puzzle and that makes me happy like a kid
This webbinar was exactly what I needed to be back on track with enthousiasm. Thank you Mark and Davene for such an inspiring speach !
The truth is that this week was a bit challenging, with some ups and downs. I’ve been searching all days for that positive thing to inspire me, fill me with enthousiasm and make me dig dipper inside of me for the kid I burried there . That’s why I’ve been so late writing about my journey.
The piece of the puzzle was there every moment and I’ve been aware about it but not grateful enough to understand it. It was in the “Start Over” moments of my Mental Diet. I started over so many times I lost their count. And each time I was getting stronger and more willing to fight against that state of mind where you feed your angry peptides. Each time I observed faster and more in detail how these parazite thoughts were making their nids in my mind. I observed the “big elephants” and after few days of trying to be clean-thought, the more subtiles ones, the ants on the back of the elephants.
Negative thaughts are like mosquitos during a summer night. They suck you, don’t let you rest but you don’t want to wake up and chase them because you are trying to stay confy in your bed and to have a good sleep. That’s not a good sleep and you will wake up in the morning full of bites to scratch.
Even if I didn’t succeeded yet my 7 days clean (today was the best day so far), I became much more aware about how many “mosquitos” are disturbing me and how good I can be when I put some effort to chase them out of my mind. And yes, sometimes it requires a bit of effort. Even though you try to think at something else, “the mosquitos” are there, preparing to attack again. You need another though as strong as the negative one to chase them for good. The index card are just the miracle pil that works every time for me.
I will do my best this week so I can write my next post whitouth having another “Start over” in the meantime. Plus, I’ve notice that when I keep a positive mental attitude, kind feedbacks from others are popping all the time making it easier.