The exercice of Hanel from this week is from far my favorite and the most astonishing I did until now. I think I start to gett it or I found a key piece to match in my puzzle. A big puzzle with tiny little pieces that will lead me to the little child I left alone inside of me, who knows when ?!? I am wondering if that little child is getting bored, or angry or sad or she feels abandoned. “Hang out you little, I am comming back after you !”
We all had that morning when we wake up after a nice dream and we start the day with a bonus of happines. We probably don’t remember what our dreams were about but we keep inside that feeling of satisfaction. It can happen the same with a nightmare unfortunately. We wake up miserable and grateful it was just a dream. This kind of dreams we cannot control (at least from what I know). Either are happy, either not.
With Hanel exercice, I can dream whatever I want, wheneaver I want. Of course I chose to create a dear image that is in my Dharma and waiting to materialize. I worked on that sensation of satisfaction that manifest first in my neck and shoulders. Then it goes deeper inside and transforms into a feeling. Feeling of achievement and satisfaction. How it feels to be already there, in your dream. It is so constructive to focus not on a mental thought but on the feeling created by that thought in your body. I take this exercice like a child game. That type of game when you build your reality to fit the character you play. I don’t even do it with the only purpose to materialize it but for the sake of that sweet moment. Of course, if I look back, most of the things I asked from life, showed up in a form. So I trust that this mental image that accompanied me during this week is just a teaser of what my life will be. And a daily bonus of happiness.
First month in MKS and I am still very grateful to take part in this journey. I don’t know what blowed my mind the most from the new informations I got this month : the law of substitution, the story about peptides, identifying the “cement” in my life, knowing that a good habbit can simply remplace a bad one, knowing that fear can turn of the light inside you or the fact that I finally learned to meditate and to control my thoughts. This month I felt spoiled and showered with positive energy. Plus, I just came back for a short holiday to find the Welcome post card from MKSMMA. I was so nicely impressed.
I keep on thinking about this law of substituion. The story that I chose to think of when negativity is knocking the door is one so dear to me. It happened when I was an adult but it was actually a window to the kid inside me. I felt that same “the magic exist” that we have when we are kids, innocents and naives.
Looking back, the last few months of my life were probably the most difficult I have ever lived and all my natural self trust was collapsing like a domino. I knew that I had to do something in order to build that self trust again and to eliminate the fear. Now I am congratulating myself and my friend, Dominica – who recommended me this course for stepping into this program. Only one month past but I feel already like a future butterfly. Yet into the process of eating “leaves” to grow strong and big but knowing that a beautiful butterfly will break the larva from the inside as soon as it will be ready. Until then, I am excited to stay attached to this changing mind work in progress.
Hello again, after 2 weeks. Yes, in skipped the second week and yes, I was overwhelmed but hey, I did all other homeworks and I am proud of it. Insted of getting bored of reading the same thing over and over again, I got more attentive and more curious about the changes.
I am more and more excited about the new Me that starts showing at the end of the tunnel. It is still far away but it is there, I can see it.
I am greatful that finally I learned to meditate, to stop the toughts and to sweep them when they come. For so long already I was trying to meditate and each time I was waking up during my meditation, with the mind catched in something very ordinary and often negative. I thaught that meditation is just not for me. After just 3 weeks, I made the click and it is a pleasure now to make the exercice. Of course, my mind still roam every time but I can get back into the very present more easy and for longer now.
It is so easy and fast to insert negative thoughts in our brains and once they are there, they grow big and strong and they spread with the speed of the wind. In fact they are feeding with our conservation instinct and I will let bellow a very nice video that explains it well. Sometimes you don’t keep the exact negative story that you heard-saw or read but you keep the feeling generated by that negativity that you got into contact. And so, you start seeing the empty side of the glass, the negative part of the person in front of you. You see a person throught your own filters so why not putting a positive one. Not a naive but a positive. Like searching the very small thing that you appreciate in someone that you use to totally dislike before.
Why I write in my post about negativity? Because after I kept my promise to me and I radically diminished Facebook, I realised how much negativity I was absorbing. You open media and more then half of the informations are negative. Then you get used to and you don’t realize it so much anymore but you keep a heavy feeling. Sometimes you are not conscious about it but it is there. That is what it happened with me I think. I am happy I realized it. Now I can focus on the filled side of the glass.
Why we are addicted to negativity