I love November’s focus of love!! I have been given the ultimate example by my mentor of this philosophy in practice. He loves everyone and he really does. His mantra is to love everyone and then love more. And he does this every time we interact or I see him interact with others. What an example of life! He is consistently putting others before himself and he is always more interested in them than in himself. And he is super duper successful. I am so grateful to have him in my life to see this work in action.
Yesterday morning I woke with a heaviness in my heart. Something overwhelmed me. I can’t exactly say what it was except that I am behind in my work in the clinic for patients and I hadn’t achieved as much in my network marketing business over the past week as I had hoped. In fact, I felt heavily overwhelmed. It felt like everything had become a chore and people were moving away from me. I sat in my car and really focused on the Master Keys, my DMP, this entire process and I suddenly felt anger at my subby. How can you let me down like this, I thought? But then I realized we are only in month 2 of this program and that’s why it takes time. It is a process. The feelings I had were in such stark contrast to what I had been experiencing and thinking over the past 2 weeks. What was I thinking? Was I distressed because I have more clients in the clinic than before? Was I distressed because I recruited 3 people into my business and I haven’t got back to them in the way I want to? Was I distressed because I haven’t yet done my poster, printed out the shapes or written a blog post for the week?
I had to pull myself towards myself. I reminded myself of our readings. I reminded myself of the girl in the mirror and all the teachings I have been working on for the past month. My old blueprint was yelling at me – come back!! It lasted an hour or so as I worked to focus on my new way of thinking. By lunchtime I was feeling much better. The afternoon turned out to be very sunny and I had a totally different perspective on life and then positive responses from people I was interacting with. It was as if in the morning I was living a different life to the afternoon!
I became aware of how selfish my “poor me ” thoughts were. They were not about other people, just about myself. Is this the way I used to be? Perhaps! Certainly these feelings came from within. No one in the outside world did anything to me to produce these thoughts.
No wonder I wasn’t achieving as greatly as I believe I deserve to be. I always considered myself to be a positive thinker and action taker but this episode came crashing down on me and brought back many memories of sullen periods in my life when I was in a “woe is me” state. Now I realize that was selfish. Perhaps this is the foundation of the inconsistencies I experienced in my life. Periods when I would produce and do well and then periods when my actions would be sabotaged and my results would flounder.
These past 2 weeks I have been more consistent in my readings each day. And perhaps this is a contributor to my personal crash yesterday morning. I am so much more aware of how I am responding to everything and everyone.
Here’s to a new month and a new focus.