Awoke yesterday actually aware that I was saying good-bye to Scroll II! I was intrigued by that awareness. It’s been a good month as I have seen way more love in my heart show up in situations more “naturally” especially with the “challenging” personalities and even situations.
When I first read the affirmation MKE 9-24 “I am whole, perfect…” I thought “nope not going to use perfect” as I am a recovering perfectionist and have spent a ton of internal work letting go and celebrating doing well, being ok with “its good enough”. Then somewhere I read about perfect cells in my body so I have added that back as those I do want perfect! I really like to position of 9-25 “Whatever you desire for yourself, affirm it for others, and it will help you both. We reap what we sow.” Believe that works lovely with “give more, get more.”
Then in 9-26 “…scientist declare that we build ourselves over entirely every eleven months…” that stopped me as exactly 11 months ago I decided that a certain adult in my life was not going to get to drive me “crazy”. First, I started to give her feedback on kinder ways of speaking to me, that I no longer needed to be told how to do things. And yes, that did not go well! So I decided ok, I will just keep my mouth shut and say nothing. Well, I said agitated things silently and that was no fun either. Next was the practice of letting go, how important is it really, she clearly has stated at 83 she is not changing for anyone so that meant I GET to do the changing. Changing I have done. It is really grounding to experience that kind of growth!!
This set the stage for MKE 10-1 “Abundance is a natural law of the Universe.” As I have read I have found myself looking at the evidence around me of nature’s abundance. How blessed I already am with what I have in my life and the relationships as well. I posted on work space 10-3 “… enables man to plan courageously and execute fearlessly.” These are really empowering words worthy of “say aloud” for me.
Earlier this week, I was passing through a room where mom does watch Netflix when I heard these words-” I promise… I always keep my promises!!” No joke, I asked for the TV wand and reversed to listen 3x to confirm I heard this correctly! ( was in series Cedar Cove). Crazy how MKMMA shows up in the world around!!
This may well be my last blog post as I have struggled with a very difficult decision for the past 4 weeks. Evidence from completing an assessment of my 168 hr/week with the times needed for my responsibilities as caregiver/ personal & home tasks/ business building/ MKMMA actions etc. I was short real hours of nearly 8-9 every day. Clearly, I have chomped off more than I can chew. Job #1 right now is being on assignment as the designated caregiver for our mom. Through MKMMA, I have become extremely clear about my future so building MLM towards that identified PPN Autonomy and Liberty, I have been aware of what actions I need to be engaged in. Each week I have fallen behind, obviously! My mind’s eye sees rocks on a flat plate, every evening I confirm with my calendar what I have on the next day (keeping my “compass” evident, then the next day, other rocks get dropped on my plate pushing off what I thought was going to get done. My business has suffered as those rocks have been pushed off too. Scrambling has become a physical norm and finally this week with a slip and fall, I admitted to hearing my body screaming “something HAS to be paused”. Saying goodbye for now is the last thing I really want but as long as I am in this role I have to honor this season as it will be a short one according to the medical doctors – less than a year for her.
To have an ok with this tough decision, I am committing to continuing the reading pattern with GS, DMP, Service cards, shapes and I am going to venture back into Go90Grow to the Hero’s Journey.
SO as you go forward, I will be cheering you on! Trusting that you will “graduate” and live out your DMPs! Mine, it will happen too, just in a different timing pattern. All the best!!