Week 23 – An Old Lesson

“Today I will be master of my emotions.”The Greatest Secret in the World

By Og Mandino  – The Scroll Marked V

To master my emotions is to be aware of the fleeting nature of my moods. The other side of what I currently feel looms just around the corner. So take stock of what is currently being felt and experienced and know that it will change. Yet also know that if that which is being felt and experienced is not producing the desired benefit, then take action to change it.

I would tell my children when they were old enough to understand it, “Fear takes you out of action, but action takes you out of fear.”  It was a valuable lesson for them when they were in school and sometimes feeling overwhelmed. They repeated it to me once when they were much older and I had forgotten that I had once told it to them.

They told it to me at a time when I was in need of that lesson. A new chapter in my life was creating a joy and doubt cycle – retirement. The joy coming from being free of the routine and grind of a job and the doubt coming from the uncertainty of the next phase of activity.

So I rely on a lesson that I taught years ago to my children. I rely on a lesson that my children awakened in me. Don’t get too high, don’t get too low, know that the ego can get you into trouble.

Stay humble.

Take action.


Week 22 – Henceforth

“Henceforth, I will know that only those with inferior ability can always be at their best, and I am not inferior.” – The Greatest Secret in the World
By Og Mandino – The Scroll Marked V

This statement has helped me to know that going forward, I will allow myself room for trial and error, for missteps and for correction without self judgement. Inaction from fear of failure has been dispelled and overcome knowing that I am human with the ability to get better with each transaction. And with each encounter of the tasks that produce my ideal, I get better.

To allow myself to grow unencumbered by a standard that has yet been set for me, by me is a puzzlement. But knowing in my heart that an honest and pure effort on a daily consistent basis will produce the desired goal, the standard will become clearer as results become apparent. The ebb and flow of the process will produce its own reward.

To know that my best is my best, not to be measured or compared to someone else’s effort is my strength. My journey is my journey, my achievement is my achievement. But my victory is a shared victory. To all those who have guided me, encouraged me, and shown the light on the path when I was unable hold the lantern, the victory is unselfishly offered.

I am Nature’s greatest miracle, I do my best!



Week 21 – Embrace the Miracles

I was in the grocery store on an aisle looking for pasta. Two teenage/20 something girls came down the aisle and stopped. They were talking, one said to the other, “Fake it ‘til you make it.” I smiled. When I walked by them I said, “Try this instead, ‘Fake it until you become it.’, ok?” They both said, ‘oooooo’. I said, “It feels different doesn’t it? It’s in your heart now isn’t it?” They smiled and fist bumped me! I walked away.

Later I was in the check-out line, struck up a conversation with a guy behind me. He was reluctant at first, then he began to share. We connected, then I said goodbye. On the parking lot, I was loading my car, the same guy drove up beside me in the prettiest Mercedes AMG coupe. He told me he enjoyed our conversation. I smiled and said I enjoyed it too.

On the way home I thought about how these experiences that are fleeting but expand my day with joy are so valuable. How the miracles are there to witness and more so if we engage them.

I worked at my church this past week as a member of one of the repast teams. I had not worked since my hospital stay in early December. So it was a bit of a reunion seeing everyone.

I quickly fell into the routine of service, preparing to receive and feed the family after the funeral service ended. I realized how much I had missed helping. The team stood in a circle, held hands, prayed prior to the guests arriving, as we always do. But it was different this time. I was focused on gratitude. Fore I remember the last time after the service, I went straight to the hospital with chest pain.

Living each day as if it is my last is a real thing for us all, especially when we take the time reflect and embrace the miracles, small and large.


Week 20 – My Short Alphabet

Find the ‘A’ and ‘B’ activity. Schedule the ‘A’ activity and then schedule the ‘B’ activity after family time! That short video really helped me to sort my planning out. I had softened up on keeping the main thing the main thing because it’s the main thing!

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Don’t be fooled by the multitasker myth! The Stanford study revealed to me that I had become less focused since I retired. Here I was thinking that I was focused because I’m in MKE. But actually I was distracted by so many things that I had put off while I was working that I could finally do now. But the problem is those ‘things’ aren’t a priority or part of my DMP goals.

What am I pretending not to know?  This was huge for me this week! I keep asking/repeating that to myself and then it hit me.  It hit me why I was stuck and anxious. I posted this in the Alliances – Tools for Expanding.

“After my hospital stay at the beginning of December, I lost the rhythm of this class, the process, the efficiency. And I couldn’t figure out where this feeling was coming from, where the immense feeling of impending doom was coming from. I just figured it out! By asking myself, “what am I pretending not to know.” When I was in the 7th grade, my class was required to read 30 books for the reading list. I didn’t do it, I couldn’t do it, I rebelled against it, and I couldn’t keep up. Man! It felt just like this current feeling! The feeling of doom from being behind, paralyzing fear, guilt from not trying, unworthiness from being borderline in the class, hurt feelings because it seemed easy for all my classmates, some anger for being in the situation. Wow this is such an old core blueprint that I had completely forgotten! Wow. I have been pushing against that feeling all my life.”

What would the person I intend to become do next?

Do the ‘A’ activity only!


Then do the ‘B’ activity!



Week 19 – Annihilation

“Don’t fake it until you make. Fake it until you become it.”

Act powerful until you become powerful. Know that the “acting” is teaching the mind to become that which it is witnessing. This is such a wonderful and simplistic lesson.

I had so many flashes of memories of myself when viewing the Ted Talk video. So many memories of when I hand to present, speak, or address a group and how I felt in those situations. I realized that most often when I was in those situations, I generally felt strongest when I was prepared and/or when I felt that what I had to offer was of value to the audience.

Fear only seemed to overtake me when I was focused on a negative outcome. Only when I felt hopeless and weak did I stumble. However, when I saw the outcome as new, exciting and beneficial to all, I embraced the challenge.

I had this discussion with my wife who incidentally had to give 3 short presentations at a seminar this week. The instructor took videos of the presentations of each student on their phones that were given each day. In my wife’s first video, she had a rather noticeable cross footed stance that she was reluctant to modify in subsequent videos. It was comforting to her and she said it felt natural. However, seeing herself posing that way did challenge her thinking regarding her overall presentation.

This subject matter also brought to mind a movie trailer that I recently saw from the movie Annihilation. There was a key piece of dialogue that stuck in my mind when I heard it a few weeks ago.

“It’s destroying everything!”             

“It’s not destroying, it’s making something new.”

When we look at change in a fearful way, the process seems and feels destructive.

But if we embrace change in a hopeful manner, we see change as beautiful and beneficial.

We are becoming something new.

Week 18 – I Am Calm

“Tomorrow lies buried with yesterday.” Og Mandino – GS, The Scroll Marked V

That statement resonated with me so very much. I stopped and read it over and over again. It so clearly and simply puts the power of living in the moment in focus for me. Living for tomorrow creates anxiety, living with yesterday creates regret. But living in the day that is at hand, is all there is for which to be grateful. Gratitude feeds happiness, and happiness feeds gratitude.

This scroll is so timely, for I had dwelled in yesterday’s regret for too long. The simplicity of recognizing the bountiful blessings, treasures, interactions, happenstances, gifts, memories, and experiences have taken my mood to a more joyful state.

I have addressed some distasteful duties in the last week. Things that I had put off, for lack of desire to bridge the obstacles. Instead, I found lesser duties to perform, as if there was reward in that behavior.

The energy is returning. I feel my strength rising, but I am calm.



Week 17 HJ – Change the Ending

I find myself analyzing and examining my daily activities for value, for connection to what is important to my future self. It is a beneficial yet maddening response. For within that daily process there is always guilt linked to loss. The loss of time which could have been better served prior to the knowledge gained in this MKE experience, but more at the loss of time from a setback that has potentially slowed my possible acceleration.

What’s really so odd about this behavior is that normally I was pretty easy going and carefree. But even that memory is guilt laden because it conjures up memories of a value system born in “The River of Dreams”. Of course back then, I had no knowledge of my delusional plight. I had a belief that “everything will work out”. I suppose I thought like many people do in an effort to remain in a positive mental state.

But this knowledge of the subconscious; the focused process of visualization, actualization and manifestation has excited me and yet frightened me. The internal turmoil is constant.

It reminds of when my son wanted a full size violin. He was in middle school. He had grown in physical stature and musical ability, so it was time to make the investment in a better violin. We tried several and selected one based on sound quality and price. He was happy, I was hopeful.

The next day I drove my family to Atlanta from Washington, DC to my wife’s sister’s home. The following morning, my wife and daughter went shopping with my sister-in-law. I stayed at the house with my son. It was time for him to practice his violin lessons.

He could not do it. He couldn’t even take the violin out of the case to start. We talked about the problem. He said that he realized that there was no turning back now. He knew that it was the beginning of a serious commitment. He knew everything would be different going forward.

He got it together and went on to do well. And now he encourages me when I struggle. I saw a post today that reminded me of the daily decision that is required to forge ahead.

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Just stay focused, allow it to unfold.

Week 17 – Permission

I recently realized that I had not given myself permission to really focus in depth on the MKE process. I saw my cardiologist, who I had not seen or talked with in 5 years since he performed my procedure. During that meeting, he asked me a few questions. Primarily he asked why I went to the hospital recently. I gave him my reasons; some chest pain and concern because of my history.

He said that during my stay in the hospital, there were no indicators in any of the tests that were administered that I had any concerning heart problems. He believed the pain was muscular skeleton pain. I just looked at him.

Then almost immediately, the weight of my concern was lifted. I realized that weight that I had been carrying was fear and it had been creating anxiety and dread. Walking back to my car, on the way from his office, I began to feel free, unburdened.

In recent days, I followed up with someone named Rob that I had met at a networking event. In our initial conversation, Rob told me that he knew someone that may be helpful to me regarding a venture in which I have an interest. Rob shortly thereafter called me with the person’s contact information and stated that they were awaiting my call.

When I reached out to Lenzy, Rob’s contact person, we had a delightful conversation. In fact, Lenzy was very helpful, shared information and recommended a book that I subsequently purchased. When I asked how Lenzy had come to meet Rob, his story sounded similar to mine, just a year earlier. But what was important was Rob’s mission seems to be that of a facilitator. He enjoys making the connection between people who can share and network.

The whole experience re-energized me. A part of the puzzle that I was struggling to fit was starting drop in seamlessly.


Permission. I hadn’t given myself permission. And I had not committed to a decision to give myself permission. Had I given myself permission, there would have been evidence.

I can see it now. Evidence is developing, I have given myself permission.


   The Master Key, Part Seventeen

34. If you wish to eliminate fear, concentrate on courage.

35. If you wish to eliminate lack, concentrate on abundance.

36. If you wish to eliminate disease, concentrate on health.

Week 14 – Perhaps

Perhaps I was being kinder. Perhaps I was just calmer, less expectant of a result being manifested. But nonetheless, I spent a day with my wife where our communication was at a very high level. Perhaps I’ve come to understand and so has she that the clarity of a message verbalized is important but maybe not as important as the recipient’s ability to acknowledge, interpret, restate – if necessary and respond to that message that was received.


Maybe it’s me being more patient and she is reflecting that patience. It’s not really clear. But I’m happy with the new state and so is she. It’s been difficult through the holidays, a time when relaxation should be paramount, yet stress and illness made an appearance.

I have made an effort to allow my feelings to have a more visible, tactile representation – more embraces, more handshakes, more smiles, more laughter, more eye contact. It is something I do normally but as a dear friend used to say, “I’m making a concentrated effort” to do more.

Recognizing the manifestation of the results of these efforts is interesting. Earlier this week I attended a social event, I met a few people, had interesting conversation, and exchanged contact information. Some of those people have called to follow-up and share helpful information. A few called with just a desire to continue the conversation and be friendly.

Perhaps I’m getting back on track.

Perhaps I’m coming into my own.


Week 13 – A Hero for Someone

So I got out of the hospital the first week in December 2017.

All good, ready to go, check with my doctors, back on track.

Then, I got a stomach virus a week later. All good, ready to go, check with my doctor, back on track.

Then, I got a cold/flu 2 weeks later. All good, ready to go, check with my doctor, back on track.

Sometimes you just have to laugh at the circumstances. Get back up, go to work.

Ease is a greater threat to progress than hardship. I needed to hear that. In my weakness, my vulnerability, I began to accept discouragement as a reward for my health hurdles.

But I am nature’s greatest miracle. What discouraged me, is well within the realm of my miraculous ability to overcome! I have to overcome. There are people unknown to me, who are dependent upon me. My future self has appointments and commitments to honor. Remember?

The power of those future meetings played out in a video I saw just recently. When a hero shares his vision with you and you realize that you too are the same, a hero for someone.

Fall down seven times, get up eight.