Week 24: THANK YOU!

With this being the last week in the 2017 MKMMA course, I felt it only appropriate to make this last post one full of thanks and gratitude!

A HUGE THANK YOU! to Mark, Davene, the guides, especially mine, Justin, the MKMMA staff, my masterminds, especially Jules, and all of the members, particularly those members that are remaining, and to myself as well.

I am so thankful for everything and everyone that this course has brought into my life and into  my consciousness.  I am so very grateful that I took this opportunity and followed it through, no matter how well or how terribly I executed following tasks, requirements, and obligations throughout these past six months.

I think the greatest and most astounding effect that this course has had on me is that I have been able to make sense of and realize that my ideas/ideals, thoughts, feelings, and emotions from my younger years were not crazy or absurd, as I had felt and thought at that time, but were my true, authentic self and my herald’s call.  Taking the steps to join and work this course has been me answering that call and I am so looking forward to the other side of my hero’s journey!

I wish I was farther along in the process and that I hadn’t slacked as much as I did, but its MY journey and no one else can take it, or make it easier for me just as I can’t compare my place along my journey with where someone else is on there’s and become discouraged if they are farther along, or it appears easier for them.  I will get there when I get there and learn and apply what I need to when my time comes.

I CAN BE WHAT I WILL TO BE!

DO IT NOW!

IT’S ALREADY DONE!

WHAT WOULD THE PERSON I INTEND TO BECOME DO NEXT?!

WHAT AM I PRETENDING NOT TO KNOW?!

I ALWAYS KEEP MY PROMISES!

WE DID IT!  MKMMA CLASS OF 2017!

GOOD LUCK TO YOU ALL AS YOU MOVE FORWARD DOWN YOUR NEW PATHS THROUGH YOUR HERO’S JOURNEY AND BEYOND!

“Today you are you, that is truer than true.  There is no one alive who is youer than YOU!”

“You’re off to great places! Today is your day! Your mountain is waiting so… get on your way!”

Dr. Seuss (Oh, The Places You’ll Go)

Thank you all again and so grateful to have been a part of this year’s class!

CHEERS!

Week 23: What to Write/Share?????

Well, clearly this should be my week 24 post, but I am just now sitting to write my week 23 blog post.

For reasons unknown – procrastination, fear, overthinking, not wanting to face the inevitable, or a million others or a combination of all these - I haven’t known what I want to write about and honestly, I still don’t, except that I’d just put to fingers to keyboard and type what’s been rolling around in my head for the past 2 weeks.

I knew my post needed to be done by last Friday, but nothing came to mind to write about.  As I tried to think of what to post, all that kept spinning through my head was the fact I needed to have it done by Friday.  I didn’t want to post it late, but more than anything I wasn’t going to just not post being here at the end of the course - a better late than never – moment  ;)

So, as I have pondered I think I really was just attempting to prolong the inescapable truth that the course is coming to an end.  ‘If I don’t post, I’ll have another week or more to continue on in the course’ right?!?!?!???

My guilt and frustration with myself has me wanting to turn back the clock and start fresh and get back on track and really finish strong!  I have realized that I started out really well, but my old blueprint and habit of instantaneous results got the better of me.  After sticking to the requirements of the 3x/day reading, 1x aloud of OG, the BPB, DMP, PPN’s, Haanel, and all of the tangible and honor requirements for the first few weeks and not getting a result (tangible, or otherwise noticeable by my standards) I started to slack of a little and that slaking grew throughout the course.  I would have a restart here and there, but they wouldn’t last long before slacking would creep back in.

I have a lot of work to do, but with the help of my fellow members in my blog roll, the alliances area, and my guide I have realized that I stayed the course and have gained new perspective on what I have accomplished and how I have changed and that this takes practice, A LOT of practice and that the end of this course is really just the beginning of the life I was meant to lead!

Here’s to lessons learned, perspective changes and APPLYING these!

Week 22a: The End is Near…

WOW!  I cannot believe that we are almost to the end of this incredible six month course that seemed so long in the beginning, but now seems like it started yesterday!

I hadn’t been thinking too much about the end of the course as that was overwhelming and I knew it would take away from what I should be doing today, or for the work week of the class, but it kept being brought up in the past few webinars as a concern that members had and voiced.  As it was mentioned each week of the past few weeks I tried to tune it out and not get hung up on or by it and just trust Mark, Davene and the staff as they said, ‘please, don’t worry about it.’

As I submitted the last PIF payment last week it hit me for sure!  A response that I didn’t quite expect.  A culmination of thoughts, feelings and emotions ran through me about what being a part of this has done to and for me, what it has meant to me, the regrets, the successes, the list could go on, but this was a bitter-sweet moment for sure.

On the one hand I felt proud and a sense of accomplishment for sticking through to the end when we have lost so many over the past 5+ months and to be ‘still standing’ here as the end is drawing near is a positive for sure.

On the other hand, I beat myself up a bit, (ok, quite a lot) with realizing my failures of not sticking to ALL of the daily and weekly tasks throughout the course and thinking about where I would be had I completed them and ultimately regretting these decisions to do what I was supposed to and needed to do.

Overall, the end is near and nothing can be done about that except to finish strong and take my notes of where I fell short, learn the lesson and move forward APPLYING those lessons learned to do better, be better for myself and others and

ALWAYS KEEP MY PROMISES!

Week 22: Who Am I?

This is another one of those ‘crazy’ moments that has occurred since being a part of this course.  After last week’s post I had some interesting epiphany’s occur before Sunday’s webcast that then popped up on the slide notes of the webinar = coincidence?  ;)

Starting Friday after my last post and into the weekend I had been really looking inward into ‘who am I?’ ‘what do I want?’ ‘what do I stand for?’ ‘what are my interests?’ ‘why am I unhappy?’ ‘what would truly make me happy?’ and all because I’ve been unable to really pinpoint and figure these things out over the past few years.  As these questions have turned over and over in my mind since the beginning of this course, and well before, I was putting more effort and thought towards these and I came to the realizations of what I’ve been doing all this time.

I have been ‘fronting,’ ‘faking,’ ’acting,’ in various ways and in different situations, or as slide 29 summed it up perfectly, I’d been partaking in: ’the masquerade of roles’ = EPIPHANY!

My problem has been that I have never figured out, let alone have truly ever been who I really am because I am always someone different depending on who I’m with, or the situation I’m in.  And the kicker on top of the epiphany = I have done it all to please OTHERS!???!!!!??  Heaven forbid I make anyone else uncomfortable or have a confrontation, or have a disagreement, or make them do something they want, or whatever!  I have always been the one watching what I say, or what I do, or AGREEING to most anything – bending over backwards to PLEASE others no matter how or what I truly think or feel.  For a long time I thought my ‘efforts’ would pay off, people would notice and appreciate and ‘repay’ me for all I ever did and time and time and time and time again it would never happen and really has never happened.

I am AWAKE and no longer in the business of pleasing others and playing in the masquerade of roles that I have for so long!

Here’s to the TRUE, AUTHENTIC FUTURE ME!

WEEK 21: Self-Control: Good? Bad? Neither? Both?

This week has been quite the whirlwind!  I feel like I’ve gotten nowhere and have progressed at the same time.  Nowhere because I have been falling short of completing and staying on task, but have made some monumental strides forward with little effort as a result of the teachings/assignments that have occurred in this course.

Feeling like I’ve stayed stagnant, but recognizing that I have also moved forward in relation to my 8th virtue, self-control, of the Franklin Makeover has been quite ironic.

I have realized that self-control worked in both ways for me this week.  I had self-control in the doings and not-doings of my days.  I was in control of whether or not I wanted to and/or completed the tasks I had.  It was such a ‘battle of the blueprints’ at times to know what I needed to do, but to have my old blueprint fight so fiercely against the new and win almost every time.  On a few occasions, however, and without much thought or effort on my part, my new blueprint humbly showed its power when it allowed me a few breakthroughs through reflection, but outside of a ‘sit’!?!?!!  Once I realized the breakthroughs had happened I reflected on the how and realized that all of the tasks and assignments and lessons within the course have been setting in and things are starting to manifest from being exposed to them and I couldn’t be more excited or happy about these ‘proofs’ of it all working, being true and coming together!

I definitely could have done a lot better with my self-control to accomplish what I needed to this week, but I am progressing and am continually a work in progress.

I think I for sure needed to observe a lot more examples of self-control in order to help implement this trait more strongly within the person I intend to become.  :)

Week 20: Down and Out

This week was a rough one! (Obviously, as this entry is 3 days late)

I started out, as the previous week, aiming to get my blog done well before Thursday or Friday, but my old blueprint and addiction to the peptides of my negative, destructive and overall bad habits once again took hold.

As I was purposefully putting myself in a state of procrastination and last minute-ness to put the pressure on in thinking that would make for a quick completeness of my tasks, my world within did its job and created my world without accordingly, though not to what I was expecting.

My stress, stressors, anger, frustrations, sense of overwhelming-ness, fear, anxiety, and any and all other negative thoughts, feelings and emotions that one can have had been creeping in and growing over the past week and a half, or so, but finally took over and manifested physically putting me into a state of dis-ease.  This had started on Monday, but by Thursday had knocked me down and out completely!  When it started I figured I was maybe getting a little sick with the weather changing and rain we had received, but once it fully kicked my butt and I knew it wasn’t the ‘flu’ or any ’true’ sickness/illness I knew that my inner negativity had manifested in my outer/physical world.

I upped my nutrition to not only help physically, but to get me into a better state mentally in order to change my situation.  It took a few days to fully kick, (today is the best day I’ve had since last Thursday) even though once I shifted my perceptions to more positive/productive ones there were immediate improvements.

As hard and as difficult and frustrating it was for this to have happened, I’m glad it did as this has shown, first hand, how powerful thoughts can be as we’ve been learning in this course and that we can change any situation we are in by changing our thoughts/perceptions/frame of mind.  I think this was proof from my true self, my hero within, that I need to stop self-sabotaging and playing my games of thinking that I will overcome and win without following any universal laws or paths that others have proved lead to success and to stop trying to re-invent the wheel in this realm.

I needed to hit a bottom in order to be shaken and to really start re-evaluating what I want, who I am and what am I willing to do in order to achieve those answers.

Week 19: Enthusiastically Un-Enthusiastic………????

My sixth virtue in week 19 was ENTHUSIASM.

I was looking forward to and dreading this virtue at the same time.

Looking forward to it as it has been an improvement I’ve needed and wanted to make from the beginning of this course = all the readings that should be read ‘with enthuuuuussiiaaaasm’ has been a struggle for me, so was looking to change that.  Dreading  this weeks virtue because I would have to face this challenge and overcome it by stepping out of my comfort zone.  Why this has plagued me is definitely a frustration as there is no reason I should be uncomfortable or embarrassed to read out loud with enthusiasm in my own house whether alone, or with my family present – they probably could care less especially knowing its for my class, but nonetheless it has held me back from attempting and practicing this virtue.

I have realized over the years, but especially as I have worked through this class that I don’t just not do something that I should rather out of fear or choice, but when I choose not to do it I intentionally and intensely, with enthusiasm, don’t do it so as to prove that I really am not going to succumb to the task.  In this case, for this week I became intentionally and intensely enthusiastic about being UN-enthusiastic!  This old blueprint and old, habitual neuropathways are really stuck in their ways and man, do I really stick it to myself and prove myself a fool by self-sabotaging and destroying my progress to grow and develop.  These mind games of mine are so unintentionally intentional that somehow and for some reason I continue to think I will eventually win by not following what I know I should do so that I can say I REALLY overcame and conquered without ‘giving in’ to a plan or using a proven formula, so that I am an even better achiever and winner.   WHAT????????  To have realized this and admitted to it and to write it here I feel so foolish and it is quite silly that this is a game my mind has played for so long and that I have intentionally played along for all these years thinking that I will eventually win a losing game is ridiculous!

“What am I pretending not to know?” = THIS GAME!

“What would the person I intend to become do?” = NOT PLAY THIS GAME ANYMORE!

Looking forward to more progress and getting out of this loop of this mind game of mine!

Week 18: What the *Bleep* Happened…..?!?!?!?!???

So……….   I should be writing or should have already written my week 19 blog as that’s where we’re at within this MKMMA course, but I am clearly a week behind as I’m sitting here writing my week 18 post that should have been posted by last Friday. Sigh……..

I can’t even remember what I was going to post about last week, but I do remember, ironically, that I was ready to post on Tuesday, which NEVER happens.  However, in looking and thinking back as to why I didn’t post on Tuesday when I was ready with some decent content I made a startling realization!  I HESITATED for a second and let something else take my attention and time and I never got back around to writing it.  ‘That split second between hesitating and taking action’ ring any bells……?

Anyways, I also noticed, which I have before, but still haven’t convinced myself is ALWAYS true even though it has proved to be time and time again is the FACT, and yes, it is a COLD, HARD, TRUE FACT that the less I have to accomplish the less I do and the more things I have to the more I accomplish.  As the great Jim Rohn  would say, “isn’t that interesting…?”  I am always astonished that when I don’t have much to do be it work, chores, errands, whatever I seem to not get the few tasks done that are on my list, but give me two spilling over platefuls of things to do and a small time frame to get them done in and voila! they all get done.  Usually with more easily, quickly and efficiently.

So what the *bleep* happened? -  -  I didn’t have a whole lot to do in the beginning of the week last week, but I knew that the end of the week and weekend I was going to be busy, so I planned accordingly to get my blog post done as well as other things so that I wouldn’t have to worry about them, but that one second of hesitating and not planning, so planning to fail took over and wreaked havoc on my entire agenda.

Moral/lesson learned: STOP hesitating, or putting off what needs to be done and GO do it at that moment  = “what would the person I intent to become do?”

Week 17 HJ: Me, a Hero?

This week we covered The Hero’s Journey.

By now I should be used to the fact that everything in this course is intentional, (but that hasn’t ‘clicked’ just yet ;) ).  From whatever task or activity we are required to do, to the timing, the content and most of all the placement of those within the course in order to create the biggest benefit and have the most impact, as was the case, yet again, this week.

I had been feeling lost, confused, frustrated, and had been questioning quite a lot of myself; what I was doing (though mostly NOT doing) within the course and whether or not I had been just continuing on so as not to say ‘I quit’ to myself, let along anyone else.  I definitely knew I did not want that regret, if nothing else.  However, I was beginning to think was that worth it?  Would it just be easier to go ahead and quit vs. struggle through aimlessly wishing, instead of working, for the changes I want and need to make in finding my true, authentic self.

Enter, week 17HJ!  This was placed just so, as I realized not only first hand, but in reading the blogs of my fellow MKMMA members in our blog roll as well as others in blog comments and posts within the alliances area.  There are a lot of us who are facing the same struggles and Mark, Davene and the MKMMA staff had the answer for us!  :)

As the webinar for this week drew to a close there was so much that began to click and resonate and truly empower me!

*Aimee Mullins TED Talk video

*The four stages of death

*’What am I pretending not to know?’

were the biggest standouts for me as well as a few other phrases that Mark and Davene spoke among which was that “I am the hero for just simply answering the call’

Me, a hero? YES! I AM!  I answered the Herald’s call to adventure in finding and stepping into my greatness as my authentic self!  This is why I’m here, it’s why I’m still in this course and haven’t quit.  My true, authentic self is a HERO and is growing and preparing to be revealed!

 

Week 17: Deciding To Be Decisive

This week my virtue for the Franklin Makeover is DECIVENESS.

For most of my life I have been extremely indecisive!  As I have gone through this MKMMA course and looking back at all of the previous self-development and self-improvement courses, material, etc… that I have taken, worked through and completed I have realized not only how important this trait is, but how much I lacked a strong decisiveness tendency.  This is the biggest reason I put it so close to the top of my list of virtues for the makeover.  I wanted to get a hold on it as quick as possible in order to work on it for most of the duration of the makeover – and beyond of course.

This Franklin makeover has been pivotal in helping me to shape and construct the character of me and my future self!  It’s amazing how having the right ‘key’ (pun intended and unintended ;) ) to the lock can open unlimited possibilities.  By this I mean I could have made the decision to be decisive, and in the past I have, but my old blueprint and frame of mind would just give me pass after pass whenever I didn’t take the note and make a decision when I should have.  The ‘next time’ method.  This was a hopeless and helpless way to try to make such an impactful change.  However, the Franklin method, along with all the other content and tasks in this course, has made the change much more simple, easier to stay the course and FUN!  I am much more anxious and excited to embark on the journey of making the changes rather than dreading and resisting the efforts to bring about the desired characteristics, which has made all the difference.

I’m so glad that I listened and trusted – again  :)  - Mark and Davene when they said to NOT make any resolutions and that they had a better and proven plan to make the desired changes.