Week 17 – MKE

I Choose Love

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I give myself permission to change my perceptions and to choose happiness!

This week I was challenged in so many ways. I went to California to care for my ailing father whose overall health is fragile. My family members struggle to care for him, and some things fall through the cracks because of it.

Pops was not the kindest person when we were growing up, and as he ages, his crass behaviors amplify. I had to deal with several challenging personalities around his care, with great love and kindness, while asserting personal boundaries. And, I succeeded! By divine intervention, I was able to support my sister and my father, and put some necessary things in place for his care. I am also quite empathic, and able to hold space for my father – ask the right questions, and listen to his needs. This is a beautiful gift, and I’m only able to do so because I healed the childhood wound I had with him years ago.

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The greatest challenge this week was being deceived by a person very close to me. I experienced a range of emotions around the perceived deception – anger, sorrow, devastation. After writing a cathartic poem in the middle of the night, I was able to come to a place in communication where I encouraged this person to choose truth, because being truthful is healing to the soul of one who is choosing deception. Being truthful is essential in an intimate relationship. And, I opened up to hear the story. “I am ready to hear your story.” I held steady to my MKE and personal meditation practices, and was ready to listen with love.

Listen with love

Allow love to be the dominating force

In this way, my mind softened (a relaxed state of mind is a clear channel). So, I worked very hard to remain in that soft place in a phone conversation, until the moment I could see him again. And once I saw him, anger swelled up, and I began with digs, little, sarcastic digs. I watched myself do this, and observed my behavior. And then, full blown anger that needed to be expressed, but this anger needed to be there in order for me to step into my truth. I watched myself step in and sustain my personal truth. And glory to this human being, he did not walk away, but met my anger and listened, and reflected. And I softened. And we connected, and remained connected. And the softening was more important than the incident. The love overcame the rage, and it remained and sustained me.

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In the past, I would obsess over a negative action. It would imprint in my mind, and I would not be able to clear it for days. In this moment, I chose to replace the negative thought with love. Just that, love, and healing for the people involved. And I saw that this person loved me, and was hurt, and was acting out of his own pain. And I could show compassion.

I know in the core of me that the MKE is helping me to show up this way. I look forward to the day when I will face every situation with love.

I give myself permission to change my perceptions and to choose happiness!

I choose happiness

And I choose love

Persistence!

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A young woman I met on the plane told me a story that just blew my mind. She is a Filipino American from a lower-middle class neighborhood in Oakland, California – the first one in her family to attend college. She told me how she wanted to attend a women’s studies course, as it’s her passion. The class was full, and the professor said that she could not get in. Well, this young woman sat in every day, and talked to the teacher, every day after class. She emailed the teacher constantly, asking to be added to the class, ccing the dean of her department. In the end, they finally opened up a bigger classroom in order to accommodate her.

I persist and I succeed!

 

8 thoughts on “Week 17 – MKE

  1. I love your post for a very sincere reason: You talk emotions and paint vividly the feelings, you stay away from the words and dive into what is beyond words, your awareness of those emotions is very inspiring, thank you.

  2. Great and wonderful blog Anjali! Thank you for sharing so honestly about your own processes in both situations (with your father and with your friend). I think that all our feelings are excellent guides to our own truth, so if we can use our feelings to know our truth, just like you did, then will also our channel be relaxed and clear. I always have a great pleasure reading your blog. Again; Thank you!

  3. Beautiful blog Anjali! Thanks for sharing, I am very happy that you can manage your family situations much better and are able to give love to the people around you! Great!

    1. Thank you for your comments Aaron. Be gentle on yourself, I have had 20+ years of meditation; and grew up with a transpersonal psychologist for a mother. Even so, I struggle. To be human is to constantly strive. <3

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