Week 24 – MKE Farewell

Letting Go

LettingGo2

I have been feeling tender about the MKE session ending this week. I’m not ready to let go. It has been such a glorious journey, and I feel like I would like to continue for the rest of my life. 6 months is a very short time to self-discovery. And… I am ecstatic that I took the leap of faith to register for the Retreat, and look forward to expedient growth on Kauai this coming June!

13392524_f520

Today at the gym, I was listening to my recordings, and they struck me with such clarity – more than ever before. It’s as if I had had tinted glasses on before, and they turned into bright, clear crystals. The Blueprint Builder in particular stood out to me. I have been saying it every day for the last 6 months, and I finally saw it. “I realize the dominating thoughts in my mind eventually reproduce themselves in outward physical action, and gradually transform themselves into physical reality.” Wow! Into physical reality. How? I went to the bank yesterday to deposit checks from performances over the last several weeks, and discovered that I have saved enough money for a trip to Israel this coming December. I am way ahead of schedule!

evan-kirby-101570-1180x650

I have a permanent position at the Tacoma Center for Spiritual Living. Every week, several members approach me and thank me for bringing the Soul of the music into their lives. One woman said, “I see your aura coming before you do – you are such a presence!” People say such lovely things to me almost daily. Is it because I am living into the Blueprint and the Law of Giving and Receiving?

1432b-truth-small

“I fully realize that no wealth or position can long endure unless built upon truth and justice…” I am living my PPNs of Spiritual Growth and Helping Others. So long as I remain in the flow, and follow the Truth, it shall be so. “The Truth will set you free!” “I cause others to believe in me, because I believe in them, and in myself”. The power of saying these words every day is manifesting and will continue to do so in all realms of my life.

gratitude-appreciation-article

I will leave this last MKE blog with Gratitude. Feeling tremendous gratitude for the opportunity I have had to develop this skills, to have been given these tools unsurpassable by any other tools I have been given before. What glorious gems you are Mark, Davene, and the entire Staff of the MKE. May you continue to be blessed in your lives for having given so much of yourselves selflessly to others on this journey.

Peace be with you all.
Anjali

Overjoyed, Stevie Wonder

Week 23 – MKE

May the Road Rise to Meet You

MI Irish road rural istock

My father passed away this week while I was singing this song Sunday morning, at the Center for Spiritual Living:

May the road rise to meet you
May the wind be at your back
May the sunshine warm upon your face

May the rain fall softly on your fields
And until we meet again
May you keep safe
In the gentle
Loving arms of God

And it was during this passage that I felt him leave. I felt him come to me, and say his goodbye:

For everything there is a season
A time for loving
A time to for letting go
In all things God is near
Always guiding your way…

It was all I could do to keep from crying, because I knew. I felt him, and I was grateful.  I knew the day before that he was leaving his body. I knew that it was going to be within 24 hours, even though the doctors said they didn’t know when.

Before studying the MKE, I would have felt guilt for not being there with him, for not calling the priest to do the last rites. I would have felt guilt for forgetting to call the night before, after my performance. For not going to see him two weeks earlier. But I have been practicing self-acceptance. I understand the Laws of the Universe – everything happens as it should.

Using the MKE practices, I have been able to be present, to honor my siblings as we walk through the whole process of saying goodbye, letting go, going through finances, arranging the funeral and announcements, bagging his things. I am soft, and offer love, a gift, a compliment, a prayer. I tune into my papa with love and appreciation; with beautiful memories of a simple man who worked hard and loved the land and his family.

img_0416

Law of Least Effort:  Acceptance
I will practice Acceptance. Today I will accept people, situations, circumstances, and events as they occur. I will know that this moment is as it should be, because the whole universe is as it should be. I will not struggle against the whole universe by struggling against this moment. My acceptance is total and complete. I accept things as they are in this moment, not as I wish they were.

I Accept all that comes to me. I take Responsibility for my actions and reactions. I practice Defenselessness by being an observer, softening my mind, listening to my solar plexus, and thinking before speaking.

uma-despedida-sem-adeus-mb

Adeus Pai, Que você descanse no Seu colo.


Dante’s Prayer, Loreena McKennit

 

 

Week 22A – MKE

Silence and the 5 Tools

silence_title_image-624x351

Mona Brata – Practicing Silence

Since I have work scheduled throughout the week, and have to interact with others, I have chosen to turn off the music while driving and cooking, etc. I SIT longer and deeper. I don’t talk when in a group of people – just listen. I practice Mona Brata (the Sanskrit term for this) while walking, and in public places. I take breaks throughout the day, and just rest in Silence. The mere fact of being aware of being Silent is helping tremendously.

Using the 5 Tools

hurt

Hurt Feelings – Gratitude is First

Remembering, when he snapped at me 3 times in two days, not to go to tears. Something must be going on with him. Is he hungry? Is some need not getting met? Observations:   Hurt Feelings = I care about my goals. What are my goals? Connection. To be respected, treated with respect, talked to respectfully. Speaking to this truth in my Power. The hurt little girl is taking a break this week. And I remember that I am Nature’s Greatest Miracle! Yes I am! Feeling into it. Not allowing someone else to define who I am. Light bulb!

Anger, Fear, Compassion, and Gratitude

DTd4yRtWAAAzmNm

My sister taking over my father’s estate and determining what is going to happen to it without consulting with me. She has always treated me like a child. I begin to stand up for myself. Watch anger rise. Massive energy. Channel it. What would I like to see happen? I engage in a power struggle, but really, I am communicating my personal goals. I expect to be treated like an adult. I want to be included in the decision making process. Fear – afraid of not getting my due. Action:  making sure that I have a say in the process of distributing the assets. I am Worthy.

I sit with this anger for a few minutes. Then, I surrender. What is the real goal here? To stay connected to my sister. We are about to lose our father, and another sister. We cannot afford to lose each other in the process. The house and money are just things – unimportant. Hop off the Bully Pulpit. What is more productive? “Use energy towards DMP and productivity”. I sit and read my MKE assignments. Yes!

A day goes by, and I begin to understand. She is afraid of my father dying. She wants to be in control, because she feels out of control. These feelings belong to her, not to me. What must I do? Be grateful and show compassion. Stay connected, and keep my eye on the goal.

My other sister Elizabeth calls me on the phone and tells me that Maria is calling her every day, and disturbing her peace. I tell her that Maria is scared of her and my father dying. We must give her love and compassion, and be grateful for her in our lives. “Give gratitude that she is making you feel alive in this moment!” My sister and I laugh, and laugh. She gets it. What would Jesus do? I ask her. “Oh!” she says, “You’re pulling out the big guns!” Jejejeje!

My sister is beautiful, and I tell her how grateful I am for her on this earth. After our conversation, I text Maria and thank her for keeping me in the loop, tell her I love her, and ask if she needs me to come down to help with things.

And I continue to remember:  I am whole, perfect, strong, powerful, loving, harmonious and happy!

Week 22 – MKE

5 Tools for Expansion

Growth Green Road Sign with Dramatic Clouds and Sky.

Gosh, what a beautiful webinar this week – my favorite so far; the Crown Jewel of the MKE! These are the tools I have been searching for, and now they are here! Let’s look at them.

Fear

Girl-scared-at-night

Fear brings intense energy and focus; converts thoughts to actions.

Today, I wanted to call an old friend/colleague of mine to ask for comp tickets to his show in April. He is on a reunion tour with a world famous band. I felt afraid of being rejected, and had feelings of being small. I took the fear as “energy to move me forward”, and called with enthusiasm and left a message. Mysteriously, his phone kept pocket dialing me, and I would hear him with the band during a photo shoot, and warming up. After the fourth time, I kept shouting his name so he would hear me. He was very friendly, inquired about my life, and told me that he was about to go onstage. I teased him about “pocket” dialing me, and he joked back. I checked the date, and this is their very first night of the tour. He called me just 20 minutes before they were about to go on?! His phone pocket dialed me one more time, and I had a fleeting thought to pick up and listen to the concert from his pocket. :)

Hurt Feelings

9998

Hurt feelings remind us to care for our goals; the other side of “pity” is “passion”

This week, after my salsa class, I wanted to take the Afro-Cuban drumming class. The organizer said that it was a closed class for advanced drummers, insinuating that I could not join. I knew that he had invited a friend of mine (who had no drumming experience) to attend, and my feelings were hurt. Afro-Cuban drumming is one of my passions, and I was not to be deterred. I asked the instructor, if I could join his class. “Of course you can, everyone is welcome here!” he said with great enthusiasm. I joined the class, and played with passion! I had taken African drumming classes before, and have worked out of this genre of music for decades. I felt powerful in my body and mind that I had cared for my goals, and listened to my passion.

Anger

harriet-lerner-anger-is-a-tool-for-change-when-quote-on-storemypic-6383e

Anger is a huge surge of energy – verdad! Use it towards productivity. It’s a power tool, it’s got to be directed somewhere, so use it wisely!

The same fellow who didn’t want me in the drumming class was trying to redirect me while I was dancing in the Rueda Casino (Cuban salsa) class. He kept talking to me as if I didn’t know what I was doing, and at one point put his hands on my body to turn me. I felt the anger surging up. The next time around, I put my hand out and said, “Don’t talk!” I have been dancing salsa since I was a child, and this [hombre] was trying to undermine me. Even though I am facing this adversity, I am determined to take this class. I will send love to him, hold strong to my boundaries, and keep my eye on my goal.

Guilt

84cf159db204e49bd5701a68f6d85b5c

Guilt is self-directed anger. It is validation that your spiritual compass is working; guilt creates a window for honesty and compassion.

I am facing some huge guilt around a personal issue. How do I behave fairly in the situation? Sit and ask myself the question, “What am I afraid of?” This is a good lesson for me this week, and something I am going to dive into deeply. First is Gratitude. Thank you Guilt.

Unworthiness

img_8139

Shift from constrictive to expansive. We are worthy of anything we want, but not everything at the same time.

When people reschedule time with me, feelings of inadequacy arrive. This week, I have been practicing turning those feelings into inquiry – what is there for me to do elsewhere? It has been very helpful. I search and search my brain to see what mental list I can come up with while waiting, and there is always something wonderful in front of me. I catch up on MKE work – the webinars, reading,etc. Or I catch up on music practice, writing charts; making phone calls, or making new lists. And then, the questions arrive:  Am I worthy of love? Am I interesting enough? Attractive enough? Etc., etc…. So, when we are feeling “unworthy”, how about this little quote for starters?

I am whole, perfect, strong, powerful, loving, harmonious and happy!

 

Week 21 – MKE

Well, hello blog world. Here I am, late getting this out, and not having much to contribute this week. I’ve been super busy with music performances and traveling, and I am still very much in the flow of Giving and Receiving.

It’s been super snowy here this week, and I have been working on new music – writing charts, writing songs, rehearsing, performing. Sometimes, I have to travel quite far to a performance, and stay over night – extending my weekend to a trip into the city (Seattle). I have attended a few concerts this week as well. Music is me, and I am music – that what my friend says, “You are music!” There’s something very deep and beautiful about being music daily. My mornings begin with singing and dancing to an East Indian mantra.

When I sing for the public, I am always amazed by their response. There is so much giving and receiving in this exchange. Friends come to hear me, and I make new friends in the process of giving. Music touches people in so many different ways. It’s been very cold here, and the music I sing is warm and tropical – Caribbean, Brazilian and Latin Jazz. The audience and I have a reciprocal relationship, like the infinity sign – what you give comes back to you.

And then, there is music that I enjoy while listening to others. It stirs my soul, uplifts my mind and keeps me happy. I have had several opportunities to tap back into my Afro-Latin roots via Cuban music and dance, reminding me of my childhood, and my time as a young woman out on my own for the first time. I grew up listening to and dancing to Afro-Cuban music. When I was in my early 20s, I went to Latin night clubs every weekend, and danced salsa, merengue and samba. When I hear those rhythms and melodies again, I come alive! I feel connected to the roots of the music, it’s an inexplicable sensation.

I appreciate the connection of interacting with others through music, giving and receiving love in the public, seeing all as an expression of Supreme Love, and wishing everyone I meet the very best. Music adds another dimension to our lives, that would otherwise be dry without it. It reminds me of who I am, and what my place is in this world.

“I am whole, perfect, strong, powerful, loving, harmonious and happy”.

Tiempo Libre – que rico!

Oh, and these guys – super funky!

Week 20 – MKE

Sweet Gratitude

gratitude

What lovely gifts, to give and to  be a grateful receiver of gifts.

Peanuts-Gratitude-1024x920

I met a young Brazilian woman and her child at a market performance this summer. She was drawn to me because I was singing the music of her homeland, and she thought I was Brazilian. I am not. My father is a Portuguese descendant of the Azore Islands. I listened to Brazilian music all my life, and heard my elders speaking the language as a young child. As a teen, I got my first Brazilian record – Simone, Amar, and listened to it religiously. It was then and there that I was determined that I would learn to sing in Portuguese, and was on track to become a Brazilian singer.

asilomar-family-on-the-beach_208817447_1000x667

So, here she was before me, this beautiful, gentle, smiling Indo-Brazilian woman and her 5 year soft spoken son Joe. She asked where I would be singing next, and I told her. She came to hear me sing with her husband and his  family. I have been following her pregnancy on Facebook, and offered to help out when the baby was born. She replied that her husband was helping out at home, but invited me to meet the baby one evening.  I wanted to bring a special gift for the baby and for Joe, understanding how hard it is for older siblings to be uprooted from being the center of attention when another sibling is born. I found the perfect red car for Joe, and threw in the story/song CD The Fairy’s Flowers that I had produced for the Waldorf and Neo-humanist Education communities years ago. I also wanted to bring something sweet for the mother and family, as is tradition. I walked around the bakery at the local store, and honed in on a cheese and berry strudel. I am familiar with the Brazilian pastry, pao de queijo – cheese bread, and thought this would be the perfect treat. When I arrived, I saw the most beautiful golden mother and child sitting on the couch. She immediately offered me to hold her new daughter, Joy. The strudel was perfect and everyone had two pieces. Joe adored his new car, and red was his favorite color. They played the story CD while I was there, and Joe listened attentively. Leili was overjoyed, and said that she would use the CD during his night time routine. We schmoozed for a few hours, and as I was about to leave, Leili asked me to come back often, “I don’t have any family here, and would love to see you again.” I promised to come back with a feijoada next time (a Brazilian black bean meal). The sweetness and connection I felt with this family is indescribable, I felt as if they were my family too. My takeaway? Follow through on your intuition, you never know where it’s going to lead you.

Shabbat

At shul the other night, an elder friend of ours gave us a surprise gift. He and his wife asked me to open it in front of them. It was a crystal set of Shabbat candlesticks. He knew that my friend and I had begun to observe Shabbat, and wanted us to have special candlesticks to do so. This touched me deeply, as I felt seen by this man.

quote_7

I felt like this gift and gesture were from the Divine Himself. On a cosmic level, this elder sees the silver lining. He has lived on this earth for over 80 years, and he is silently guiding us to “follow our bliss”.

And so it is!

Week 19 – MKE

Striving and Thriving

corazon-doble-espacio-400

I have been striving for several weeks now, and my pattern is to strive and thrive. The opening up is beautiful, and I am developing myself in so many areas. And I choose to focus on what I am doing:  I am meditating and chanting more. I am softening my mind more (7 Laws), I am listening to my POA and the 7 Laws recording. I am writing affirmative songs. I’m working on a demo of Heart Songs for other CSL spiritual centers (part of my POA). I am consciously doing my services from my Service card. And, I am reading Og, the MKE and my cards at least twice a day, and sometimes 3 times. The Blue Print Builder is my favorite read, and I strive to read it aloud every day with enthusiasm. I am noticing Kindnesses and putting them in the Alliances. I am active on Twitter. I am writing and flashing Grateful cards. I am reading and commenting on other people’s blogs. I keep up with my own blog. I am deepening my understanding of the 7 Laws of the Mind, which truly speak to my soul. I am taking a Jewish communications course that is touching on the subjects of “listening” and “right speech”. I am taking a Mindful Meditation Class, and learning to Stop, Breathe, Notice, and Choose. I see a life coach twice a month who is helping me untangle some knots on the path of Life. I attend a monthly women’s guided meditation class, and Jewish Sisterhood meetings. I attend the CSL weekly; synagogue and dharma chakra once a month.

FLOW-Colors-Fibonacci

Working on myself has become the top priority, and in doing so, I am able to show up more wholly for those in my life – I am in the flow! What changes am I noticing? I am moving towards things that are building off of the MKE. I want more of this, and the universe is providing it for me. I am learning to communicate more efficiently. I am pausing, and breathing and I am working harder every day to change my thoughts.

Honeypot-1170x659

My goal is to work the 7 Laws, one law at a time. Would you like to take the challenge? Take the first Law, and work it for a week. Law of Substitution – we cannot think of two things at the same time. If a negative thought comes to mind, try to think of God instead, or another pleasant thought. This week, I work on the Law of Substitution by doing Madhuvidya each time a negative thought comes to mind. Honey Knowledge – whereby I silently repeat a Sanskrit mantra which means “all is God”.

Peace be on your journey!

 

MKE – Week 18

I embrace the lessons in my life.

Listening to the replay of the webinar brought me to tears, especially when Davene was being so forgiving of us sliding back; and Mark was urging us to see that the World’s Greatest Salesman is us selling ourselves to our own self! What?!!

Fire Explosion-preview

After that, I felt I could face my troubles with “gratitude”. I am grateful for the clash in my life, because it will bring me to clarity. I am grateful for everything, big or small, good or bad. And Universe, I love you, because whenever I need it; whatever I need – you show up! Through friends’ kind and wise words, through support, classes, rabbis, clergy people, counselors, friends, loved ones, family, and strangers. You. Show. Up!

woman-meditating

I held space for my Native American sister whose cousin had suffered domestic abuse late one evening. It touched me so deeply, this story of tribal communities and abuse. Trafficking. My sister-friend is a survivor, an activist, and a huge advocate for Native women who have been abused, and especially in the world of Trafficking. Unimaginable. I looked up some information on the subject, and found that 83% of the perpetrators are White men. Not indigenous. This is the work that is calling to my heart.

sage-smudging

So, I held space for her and her family. I smudged, sang kiirtan, and sat in meditation. In my meditation, I surrounded my wounded sister with Divine Love, and asked God to protect her in her pain and confusion. I gave gratitude that my sister-friend was with her, and could be the solid rock and voice that she needed. And, with my mother and grandmother looking on, I realized that this too is my life’s work – helping women who cannot help themselves.

I surrounded her in love, joy and healing all night long, and in my dream state. As I awoke in the morning, I was holding them still, and felt peace surround them…

Week 17HJ – MKE

Haanel on Intuition

einstein-valuable-540x338

“Intuition arrives at conclusions without the aid of experience or memory.

Intuition often solves problems that are beyond the grasp of reasoning power.

Intuition often comes with a suddenness that is startling; it reveals the truth for which we are searching, so directly that it seems to come from higher power.

Intuition can be cultivated and developed; in order to do this it must be recognized and appreciated; if the intuitive visitor is given a royal welcome when he comes, he will come again; the more cordial the welcome the more frequent his visits will become, but if he is ignored or neglected he will make his visits few and far apart….

Intuition usually comes in the Silence; great minds seek solitude frequently; it is here that all the larger problems of life are worked out.”

Intuition

c388d886a533b744ddd0767ee445d4e2

This week, the visitor revealed himself to me through so many forms – the Jewish communication class that popped up in my feed after several stormy days of communication. The letter of appreciation from the synagogue that came a few days before; The weekly Torah script that spoke on The Fear of Freedom, the Seder ritual today that spoke of the outer and inner shell of conflict, and how there is a softening and sweetness at the end of conflict; the ritual of mixing the clear juice with the grape juice as a symbol of a struggle that you are in the middle of, and getting ready to get out on the other side. All of these things connected to our Jewish life at a time when we needed these signs to reel us in.

I am grateful!

Courage

ieshiaevans-protest-tease-today-160711_2a9d09577bc3dbbbee11299308892cf7.today-inline-large

“If you wish to eliminate fear, concentrate on courage.

Always concentrate on the ideal as an already existing fact; this is the germ cell, the life principle which goes forth and sets in motion those causes which guide, direct and bring about the necessary relation, which eventually manifest in form.”

Concentrate on that which you wish to manifest. Concentrate on it as if it already exists.

I needed to be super grounded this week, as I was facing adversity. I chose to do a deeper meditation lesson in my need to manifest courage. For me, the power of a Sanskrit mantra, and energizing the chakras works far better, and quicker than any other method. Mantra is “sound vibration”. Concentrating on each chakra, while repeating a powerful mantra helps to clear the channel and connect to Supreme Consciousness. This powerful act helped to carry me through a situation that could have gone south. I held steady like a rock, and had great courage.

I give myself permission to change my perceptions and to choose happiness!

I choose happiness

Week 17 – MKE

I Choose Love

Best-Love-Wallpaper-for-Desktop

I give myself permission to change my perceptions and to choose happiness!

This week I was challenged in so many ways. I went to California to care for my ailing father whose overall health is fragile. My family members struggle to care for him, and some things fall through the cracks because of it.

Pops was not the kindest person when we were growing up, and as he ages, his crass behaviors amplify. I had to deal with several challenging personalities around his care, with great love and kindness, while asserting personal boundaries. And, I succeeded! By divine intervention, I was able to support my sister and my father, and put some necessary things in place for his care. I am also quite empathic, and able to hold space for my father – ask the right questions, and listen to his needs. This is a beautiful gift, and I’m only able to do so because I healed the childhood wound I had with him years ago.

meditation_endnode

The greatest challenge this week was being deceived by a person very close to me. I experienced a range of emotions around the perceived deception – anger, sorrow, devastation. After writing a cathartic poem in the middle of the night, I was able to come to a place in communication where I encouraged this person to choose truth, because being truthful is healing to the soul of one who is choosing deception. Being truthful is essential in an intimate relationship. And, I opened up to hear the story. “I am ready to hear your story.” I held steady to my MKE and personal meditation practices, and was ready to listen with love.

Listen with love

Allow love to be the dominating force

In this way, my mind softened (a relaxed state of mind is a clear channel). So, I worked very hard to remain in that soft place in a phone conversation, until the moment I could see him again. And once I saw him, anger swelled up, and I began with digs, little, sarcastic digs. I watched myself do this, and observed my behavior. And then, full blown anger that needed to be expressed, but this anger needed to be there in order for me to step into my truth. I watched myself step in and sustain my personal truth. And glory to this human being, he did not walk away, but met my anger and listened, and reflected. And I softened. And we connected, and remained connected. And the softening was more important than the incident. The love overcame the rage, and it remained and sustained me.

il_fullxfull.701940582_h2tc

In the past, I would obsess over a negative action. It would imprint in my mind, and I would not be able to clear it for days. In this moment, I chose to replace the negative thought with love. Just that, love, and healing for the people involved. And I saw that this person loved me, and was hurt, and was acting out of his own pain. And I could show compassion.

I know in the core of me that the MKE is helping me to show up this way. I look forward to the day when I will face every situation with love.

I give myself permission to change my perceptions and to choose happiness!

I choose happiness

And I choose love

Persistence!

suffering-breeds-succes-pic-for-blog-post

A young woman I met on the plane told me a story that just blew my mind. She is a Filipino American from a lower-middle class neighborhood in Oakland, California – the first one in her family to attend college. She told me how she wanted to attend a women’s studies course, as it’s her passion. The class was full, and the professor said that she could not get in. Well, this young woman sat in every day, and talked to the teacher, every day after class. She emailed the teacher constantly, asking to be added to the class, ccing the dean of her department. In the end, they finally opened up a bigger classroom in order to accommodate her.

I persist and I succeed!